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The Bert Show

Vault: Soon To Be Newlywed Game

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2026

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: Soon To Be Newlywed Game

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Get it. The Bird Show.

0:01.6

Pyleon's basement has an annual event where they bring in between 2 and 3,000 bridal gowns,

0:08.8

and they put them on the racks in no order.

0:11.4

No order.

0:12.2

They don't have time to put them in order.

0:13.4

Yeah, they just, I mean, they came off the truck last night.

0:15.5

They put them up on the racks.

0:16.5

There they sit.

0:17.7

And the brides start lining up. I think we'll have Tracy see if she can track this guy down, but apparently there's a guy in line yesterday. A groom. A groom. A groom. Holding it for his bride. Come on now. He gets points on that one. That is a good man. That's a commitment. That's right. So ladies, if you want a good man, there's one down here for you.

0:39.1

But he's taken.

0:39.7

But he's a groom.

0:40.8

So you're like he's not married yet. Is that your... He is engaged, Jeffrey. So we have... This is an annual tradition. Within this, we have annual traditions. and we have contests to get people in there early, because when there are 1,500 people in line all fighting for the same dresses, it gets chaotic. Right. So if you've got an hour or 90 minutes to yourself, it's a big deal. It's a big deal because, like we said, they shipped these dresses in last night. They don't have time to put them in order. So this way you actually get to peruse without any competition and get to find the perfect gown. And you get to find the size that you want and the style that you want, the color that you want, because you've got some more time without everybody else grabbing them. So this is big time competition right here. This is a contest that we came up with called the soon-to-be newlywed game.

1:29.7

Okay.

1:30.4

And it's basically finding out who knows themselves.

1:34.9

They're significant or they're better out of two couples.

1:37.5

Right.

1:37.9

Tracy, you gave me every detail I need except for the couple's names.

1:41.4

Oh, gosh, I forget, too.

1:43.2

Let's see, Paul.

1:44.9

Is that right?

1:47.3

Is there an Emma here?

1:48.7

Paul and Emma.

...

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