This is The Bird Show.

Wendy, I got a problem with the guy that you're going out with. Oh, dude, leave her alone. Who? The dude, the dude that you had the date with yesterday. Why? Well, I only know one thing about him, and I don't like it at all. Wendy, how tall are you? I'm 5'3. Oh, no. How tall is he? Six, seven. What? Wow. I don't like it.

He's real tall. I'm 5'3. Oh, no. How tall is he? Six, seven.

What?

Wow.

I don't like it. He's real tall. He's like really tall. Dang, girl. I know, so I get to wear all my really tall high heels. It's not cool. It's not cool for him. It's cool for you. It's not cool for him. Why? And I'm coming from a short man's perspective here.

When you're 5-4, you're 5-5, you're 5-6, the pool of short- It's not cool for him. Why? And I'm coming from a short man's perspective here.

When you're 5'4, you're 5'5, you're 5, 6, the pool of short chicks for us to hang out with is pretty shallow, okay?

So if you're a dude that's 6-7, leave our women alone.

Leave our short chicks alone.

Short chicks should be with short dudes. And if you're six, seven, it's an embarrassment of riches.

You can have girls 5-8, 5-9, 510, 6-2, 6-4, but you should leave the short chicks to the short dudes.

Well, we should be with a short man.

We're not in a relationship.

We went on one date.

You don't even think dating should be allowed.

No.

And this doesn't cross racial lines either.

I don't think white people should just be with white people.

I don't think black people should just be with black people.

But I am very, very strong in the short, tall thing.

You're like height, what would instead of racism, it'd be like heightism. Well, he said he, yeah, I don't know what to call it. Fun size should stick with fun size. I like being fun size. Is that what you call yourself instead of short? Yes, it's fun size. Or bite size. What if me and Kevin Smith want to be fun size? Wow.

...