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The Bert Show

Vault: She wants to freeze her eggs

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2026

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: She wants to freeze her eggs

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The First Show.

0:01.5

So last night I posted a blog to my blog site, which is blog.

0:04.6

Dot MelissaTimes.com.

0:06.6

And it is something that I am now revealing to the world that I've been going through

0:10.5

for the past five weeks, and that is the process of freezing my eggs.

0:14.1

Now, I talked about this a couple years ago because Katie and I decided that we wanted

0:18.5

to freeze my eggs, one because I'm older than Katie, and I'm also a kidney transplant recipient. So just in case something, you know, the worst happens when I get sick again, and there's something that happens where, well, if I got sick again, they wouldn't be able to go through this process with me. So we want to go ahead and have the option of having my children and going ahead and freezing the eggs. So this means you guys definitely want kids just not right this very second.

0:41.9

Yes, correct.

0:42.6

Is that what that means?

0:43.4

That's why you would freeze them rather than go ahead and just get pregnant right now.

0:47.3

Yes, it is IVF, but it is a stunted version of it.

0:51.4

It is the first half.

0:52.4

Fetro fertilization, right?

0:53.9

It is the first half of it. Okay. But instead of, like for instance, we tease about, like Octumomom, it's worst case scenario where, you know, too many eggs are put in, you know, the eggs were put back in her and then she got pregnant with all these babies. Right, with eight babies. That's the worst case there. That usually doesn't happen.

1:11.4

But with me, instead of them putting them back into my uterus, that they are actually going to put them in the freezer. So they're going to be fertilized eggs? They're going to be fertilized eggs. Two years ago, we talked about freezing my eggs, and the doctor said, well, you know what? freezing eggs is experimental, but freezing embryos is not.

1:28.9

And apparently embryos is not.

1:28.8

And apparently embryos are stronger to endure the freezing process and the thawing process.

1:35.1

But eggs usually are too fragile for that and may not survive the freezing process.

1:38.4

So when do you need me?

1:40.2

So, Jeff is my sperm donor.

1:42.6

Save that. Save that. Save that. Save that. No, no, no. That's a whole other conversation about men when you tell them that you need sperm. For some reason, there's something instinctual in them that even if they're married, even if they, whoever they are, there are. Jeff is not the only DJ in town that offered. Let me just say that. Oh, really? So anyway, and I'm not talking about Q100. So anyway. Jimmy Barron. Yes. So anyway. JPM. So anyway, but it is neither one of those men, and that we are not disclosing to the public who he is. But it is somebody we know because we've gone through the process of the sperm bank, but that's a, that is, it's a bizarre, it's a bizarre thing to go through because it, we almost felt like we were playing God because it's like you order from a catalog. You order eyes and hair and height and, you know, and all that stuff. And it just was weird. But we, we went through that process and it just, we didn't have a good experience with that sperm bank. So we said, you know what, let's just pick somebody we know. We pick somebody we know that already has a family, already has children. We've included his wife in this process. So it's them as a pair. It's not him individually. and so anyway, so we know this couple and know them for a long time and are very, you know, secure with that.

2:54.3

Anyway, so we know this couple and know them for a long time and are very, you know, secure with that. Anyway, so what I was talking about last night is for the past five weeks, I've gone through hormonal, I've gone through hormone injections and pills and that kind of thing. And one of the reasons, see, and one of the reasons I wasn't going to talk about it on there

...

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