Vault: Kids Will Throw Up Anywhere
The Bert Show
The Bert Show
4.1 • 4.4K Ratings
🗓️ 26 May 2026
⏱️ 8 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | If you guys have kids, you know that, and I'll try to handle this delicately because it's 725 and some of you are still eating. |
| 0:09.6 | But if you have kids that are like two, three years old, they don't have to be sick in order to get sick. |
| 0:15.1 | Like I told you guys when Hayden was younger when we were at Outback Steakhouse one night. |
| 0:19.6 | Pukes sick. |
| 0:20.3 | Uh-huh. |
| 0:21.4 | Like, it just comes from nowhere. |
| 0:23.4 | They don't need to have a cold. |
| 0:25.5 | They don't need to be choking on something. |
| 0:29.2 | If they are ready to yak, they just yak in the middle of anywhere sometimes. |
| 0:33.9 | And this happened to our family again a couple of days ago with Hollis. |
| 0:38.9 | And I want to know from you guys that are parents, |
| 0:40.9 | where's the most inappropriate or embarrassing place that your kid just yacked? |
| 0:44.8 | And you never see it coming because, again, they don't have to be choking on anything. |
| 0:48.9 | This may not be a symptom of a cold that's been going on for days. |
| 0:54.1 | It's just a spontaneous route. If they're like two years old, sometimes you're just holding them and all of a sudden, blah. It's like a cat. It can be anywhere. Anywhere, anytime. They just start. Even a cat, you get the warning. A little bit of warning, right? They run from the hardwoods onto the rug. They know better, right? Yes. Now, I told you guys years ago we're at Outback Steakhouse, and the way that Outback is, is there are all those little booths, right, that are set up about shoulder high, right? Now, with the Hollis story, do you have to give as much detail because Jessica and I had an outback craving the other night? I haven't gone back there since this happened. So we're there with |
| 1:27.8 | the family and it's everybody. It's the grandparents. It's Stacy and I and it's the kids. And Hayden is |
| 1:33.9 | playing peekaboo with a whole bunch of like 20-somethings that are sitting in a booth right next to us. |
| 1:39.8 | And all of a sudden he just throws up on the back of the neck of one of the women that are eating there. You remember she called us the next day? I told the story and she calls up the next day. She's like, it's okay. That was in the back of my mind the entire time I was sitting there. I'm glad you didn't say what booth it was. I have not gone to Outback since that day. It was so traumatic. They were heading out. Like it was their big filler meal |
| 2:01.8 | before they went out to go drinking. So my two-year-old at that time, or three-year-old, pukes all over |
| 2:07.3 | her. And their night is ruined, but they were really, really cool about it. This one happens |
| 2:11.6 | on Saturday morning. There was a press screening for the Princess and the Frog at Atlantic Station. New Disney movie. Jen was there, yeah. Yeah, it was there with my friend and her daughter. Sitting a couple of rows behind us. Oh, no. And Stacy gets up to go to the restroom, so I'm there with Hayden and Hollis sitting in the row. And Hayden just gets up, I mean, Hollis just gets up and pukes. No reason at all. Where? I mean, there was nothing coming. It was in the dark theater. But where, like you stood up and do you walk anywhere? No, you just stood up, so it was sort of half in between our aisle. And I'm sure they didn't know it at the time. They could smell it. but he basically yacked on the family in front of us in between the chairs. |
| 2:54.2 | Oh, no. I'm sure they didn't know it at the time. They could smell it. But he basically yacked on the family in front of us in between the chairs. |
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