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The Bert Show

Vault: Holly's Roommate Is Pulling Off a Big Deception

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, News, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: Holly's Roommate Is Pulling Off a Big Deception

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Call my wife.

0:01.5

Calling UK Wildlife.

0:03.6

Voice assistance not working for you.

0:05.7

BlackRock Investment Trust has a lot working for you.

0:08.2

Get to know them at blackrock.com.

0:10.0

Capital at risk. Marketing material.

0:11.4

BlackRock Investment Management UK Limited.

0:13.0

Authorized and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority.

0:15.2

The Bird Show.

0:16.4

We will call her Holly.

0:19.5

Holly.

0:20.1

Holly. Okay.

0:37.6

Wants to be on the voice disguise. I didn't even realize college graduations were going on now. This weekend? This weekend or next weekend? This weekend, yeah. I mean, they're the next couple weekends, but there's several colleges this weekend. Well, Holly here wants to be on the voice disguiser, and she's supposed to be graduating this weekend, right, Holly? Hi, yes. Hi. How are you? Oh, they're such a heaviness. I know. You seem very concerned. A little. Okay. I just, you know, it's graduation weekend, and I really want it to be a good one, but it's just a weird situation. I really, you know, I don't know what my place is or what to do. All right, so this is really more about your roommate than it is you, right? Yeah, it's not about me, but I'm kind of, I mean, I technically could be in the middle of it. So my roommate, who I've lived with through school, we live in an apartment off campus, but

1:11.5

we're roommates because our parents are friends.

1:13.9

I mean, we grew up together, and then we went to school together, we became, but we're

1:16.9

not really friends.

1:18.4

So she's more like, you know, family or a cousin, and I found out, this is going back, like,

1:24.7

three semesters now, that she's not in school anymore.

1:29.2

And our parents are coming tomorrow morning for our graduation

1:32.4

to see both of us graduate.

1:35.4

How did you find out that she hasn't been in school for three semesters?

1:39.2

Because, oh, this is a long time ago,

...

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