Using the Enneagram to Understand Your Relationship | Room for Two Teaser

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 March 2026

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Join us for a FREE Q&A about the Enneagram - click HERE for details! Brad and Kate have been working to understand themselves and each other better, using the Enneagram to better understand how they each respond to stress and disconnection. They've been talking more openly and defending less—but when tensions rise, Brad moves toward action and physical closeness, hoping connection will bring relief while Kate pulls back, wanting to feel emotionally secure before opening up. This leaves Brad feeling rejected and Kate worried that intimacy is more about sex itself than truly being with her. Because Brad seems steady on the surface and Kate is openly emotional, it's easy for both of them to assume she's the problem—but they're equally dysregulated, just in different ways. Want to unlock the full episode and over a hundred more that are just as powerful? Subscribe to Room for Two!

Transcript

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0:00.0	look, we're human beings trying to do life trapped in our minds. Okay. And so it's not strange
0:07.3	that you're doing what you're doing. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it's an inclination
0:11.8	that then drives alienation from each other. And so it causes you a lot of pain because it
0:17.5	creates the response in your partner that makes you feel bad, even though it's familiar.
0:25.4	You know your emotion so well, which is part of your gift, but when it becomes the definer of your reality, then it becomes your vice.
0:43.1	Yeah. to your vice. Hey everyone.
0:44.1	Today's episode is a free preview of the Room for Two podcasts.
0:47.6	In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife is working with Brad and Kate.
0:51.2	Now, this episode comes from the middle of the series because in it she talks about
0:55.2	the enneagram, which is a tool that can help you better understand yourself and how you're
0:59.4	showing up in relationships. We wanted to share this episode today because next week on March 12th
1:04.5	at 12.30 p.m. Mountain Time, Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be holding a free Q&A about the
1:09.9	eneagram. Click the link in the show notes be holding a free Q&A about the Enneagram.
1:14.8	Click the link in the show notes to join our newsletter and learn more about this free Q&A.
1:15.9	Enjoy the episode.
1:21.6	Hi everyone. Dr. Jennifer here.
1:26.8	As you listen to the coaching session that follows, you might be surprised by how much this couple's experiences resonate with your own.
1:29.1	Because as humans, we have a tendency to get stuck in very similar ways. And it's often
1:33.6	easier to see these patterns in others, which is why Room for Two is such a powerful
1:38.2	learning tool. So when you listen, you'll likely see yourself in these episodes. And when you do,
1:43.8	I encourage you to use the feedback I offer
1:46.0	to make important changes in your own life and your own relationship.
	...

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