ADHD in Marriage

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 24 February 2026

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

You married a whole person. The spontaneity, the creativity, the aliveness — and yes, the forgotten appointments and the missed recitals too. But learning to love a whole person — both their virtues and their vices — is the real work of marriage. When neurodivergence is part of the picture, it's easy to get lost in what your partner isn't doing, or to lean on a diagnosis to justify your impact on the other. But a real partnership requires taking full responsibility for the gifts and burdens of the mind and body you were born with. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kamden Hainsworth of the Busy Brained Saint podcast to talk about what it looks like for both partners in a neurodiverse marriage to show up as whole people — owning what is theirs, releasing what isn't, and finding more freedom than they expected on the other side. Listen to learn more about: What it means to take full responsibility for the gifts and burdens of the mind and body you were born with — for both partners How a diagnosis can build genuine compassion — or quietly become a way to avoid growth The one-up/one-down dynamic that takes over neurodiverse marriages — and how both partners sustain it Why releasing the need to change or manage your spouse is what actually opens the door to real intimacy How truth — not false hope — is what gives couples the clarity to choose each other well ANNOUNCEMENTS Join us for a FREE Q&A about Neurodiversity in relationships, click HERE for details! Join us for Date Night in Dallas, ticket information HERE (details for Austin coming soon!)

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think our lesser selves brings a kind of perfectionism and judgment and harshness,
0:06.1	but we find our freedom more in just accepting the gift of being alive in an imperfect world,
0:13.1	in an imperfect body. But there's so much beauty in that imperfection too, so much capacity
0:19.5	in those inclinations and differences. That takes some
0:23.8	courage, I think, to receive that in all its imperfection.
0:43.8	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,
0:49.3	sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
1:13.2	Hey, everyone, I'm heading to Texas in March to host two date nights. The first will be in the Dallas area on March 27th and the second will be in the Austin area on March 28th. I'll be discussing why passion fades in relationships and what couples can do to keep their relationships feeling alive. Click the link in the show notes to learn more. Hope to see you there.
1:15.0	Hello, you made it.
1:17.6	I am so happy that you are here.
1:19.5	My brain is busy and my heart is full.
1:22.5	Today's podcast episode is titled, ADHD Within Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson
1:27.3	Fife. If you're a long-time listener
1:28.9	to the busy brain saint, you know how often I reference Dr. Finlayson-Five's work, often affectionately
1:36.6	referring to her as JFF. And since we are sharing an ADHD podcast, I'll add that after
1:43.6	buying multiple of her books at the Restore
1:46.6	conference, one arrived on my doorstep, that I totally had forgotten that I pre-bought. And in true
1:54.0	ADHD fashion, I am now very well equipped with your book. Dr. Jennifer. It's the most ADHD
2:00.7	moment and happily ADHD moment, honestly,
2:03.4	that I have. Dr. Jennifer, thank you so much for joining me today. This intersection of ADHD,
2:09.9	faith, relationships, and in particular, sexuality is honestly one of my greatest passions.
2:16.1	And I'm so deeply grateful for the chance to learn from you
	...

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