Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.

Spencer had one session after his breakup.

Kind of. It wasn't really a session. It was mostly him bragging about his new life

and how many women he was getting now. I usually don't prefer online

sessions but thank God this was online and not in person. I wouldn't have been able to

last the entire 50 minutes of him bragging, which was of course an obvious attempt to relay information to Heather even when I told him about the confidentiality. I think I said two words the entire session, but it was all he needed.

He needed for me to know he was not alone. That guy, quote unquote,

fuck anyone he wanted, that he quote unquote

dodged a bullet, and that the breakup was a blessing in disguise.

He even pulled up his shirt to show me a stomach.

He had three and a half abs by the way.

What he was really telling me was he decided not to work on himself. Instead he channeled his hurt and

anger into sit-ups. He was out conquering women to prove something, not to have a corrective love experience, missing the

chance to turn his breakup into breakthroughs.

This is what I mean about growth, soil calcifying. If you don't run

toward yourself, and by running toward yourself, I mean going on an inner journey, you will never grow, or at least now, because

you are running away from yourself.

And of course many people do different things when it comes to

running away from themselves in this case Spencer and by the way that's not his real name, but Spencer quote-unquote, pulling women as a way to numb,

...