Trauma in Relationships

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 January 2024

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, John and MC host a live workshop to talk about what trauma looks like in our relationships. They also talk about why it's so hard to leave a trauma bond, and how much shame someone can feel for not leaving sooner.

Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best-selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.

Meet him at -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com

Join his private communities -> https://theangrytherapist.circle.so/home

Get his daily texts here -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com/text

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own
0:04.3	rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life
0:08.9	lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose
0:16.2	because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.
0:21.3	We have a lot of stuff that we want to talk about, but so many of your stories have a similar
0:27.4	arc or there's these themes that are coming in of getting disconnected from yourself and then shaming yourself for
0:34.4	staying in a situation for too long.
0:36.7	And what I want you to know about that is this.
0:39.4	You have an area of your brain that's been called the Mohawk of Self Awareness because it sits kind of like a
0:44.0	Mohawk wood and there's a couple of different brain areas that are involved in that Mohawk of
0:49.5	Self Awareness, but that's the part of your brain that organizes you into a self.
0:54.0	And so that's how you know yourself as a self, you remember what you like.
0:59.0	You are able to orient yourself in a situation or a relationship and make decisions and then execute those decisions.
1:06.0	So when you are in a relationship and you have full access to the Mohawk of self-awareness and someone does something
1:13.1	egregiously terrible, you are very you can with ease although it's painful, put up a
1:18.6	boundary and leave. When you're in a profoundly confusing relationship and relationships can be
1:25.4	profoundly confusing for many many reasons you actually become
1:28.2	disconnected from the Mohawk of self-awareness and the longer you're in the relationship the more disconnected you get
1:34.8	from those brain areas which is why so many people talk about like I don't even know
1:39.7	what I what food I like anymore or I don't even remember what I like to do with my free time because I'm always
1:46.0	You know doing whatever they want right? So you actually lose access to your the parts of your brain that know yourself as a self, which makes it very neurobiologically difficult to leave.
1:59.0	And without that understanding, all we have for an explanation is I'm a failure.
	...

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