That's right, my friends, is I, Simon Miller, the king of the ups and downs, the master of the wrestling review in another weird location. As I do one of my secret projects, I mean I'm exaggerating there a little bit, but you'll find out soon enough, but the reason ups and downs continues is because that's the deal that I made with you many a year ago when we sold our souls to sports entertainment, but also at the start of this week's episode of Smackdown, Anna Pierce, who was filling in for Nikalthus, was really pumped up about a crime. But honestly, Sonas Okoa and his MFTs had been in some sort of a car wreck, a poor Tangeloa was bleeding from the head. Anna Pierce was like, oh my gosh, what's happened here? We're going to have to get the police involved. And you do have to put one one of the crime counter, because whether this was real or fake, wink, wink, nudge, it's most definitely a crime. When I laughed out again, because Cody Rhodes walked in and said, oh, wow, looks like you've got your hands full, Anna Pierce. I don't care about this wreckage. I can see over here. Have you sorted out my contract signing with John Sina later? Adam Pierce was like, you bet your ass. And he just walked off. This may have been the greatest start to Smackdown ever. At this point there were no police and we cut to Joe Tessertor and he said I'll basically figure it out. And I was like, man, resting is the greatest thing ever. What's hello my friends? Welcome to ups and downs from a cabin in the woods, which is a terrifying thing to say, because the last time I watched a cabin in the woods movie, somebody died. Let's see what happens. We really went in on all the skits as well because then we cut to the allies of convenient Charlotte Flare and Alexa Bliss, and Charlotte was all like, Alexa, you need to calm down down because I went to Adam Pearce and I said, oh, hi. Remember how we didn't really win, but we didn't really lose Evolution? Well, I think we should have a tag team title match for Smackdown, not Smackdown for SummerSlam. Alexa was like, just like that, you've done it. Sharpe was like, yep, and Alexa was about to ask for more things and Flare was like, you have to calm down. That match is now in the books.

Now listen, I like that match and I love this tag team. I don't know who decided to put them together, but you have done a work of art, but I do have to give it a down. This was the worst geese title shot ever, or give me a title shot. Even Alexa Bliss was like, sounds a little bit gnarly dude. I don't know what's going on here.

And it's not their fault.

They are genuinely brilliant together,

but it's because the rush to SummerSlam is absolutely crazy. We had Sunlight's main event. We had evolution. We had the NXT show, the Great American Bash. So there's been no time. So now we literally have to have people walking up to general managers off screen. We don't see it and going,

I think we should have a championship opportunity and appears like, yeah, fine. To be fair,

he was trying to figure out a crime, giving it a down. It was then Charlotte Flair versus Raquel Rodriguez with all the friends in the corners and they essentially just ran into each other

and then sort of came to a balance of the force. Essentially when you do break it right down, they're kind of jacked. I mean, Raleckle one point hit shoulder block, so Charlotte Flair came back with a bit of a wibbly wobbly Hurricane Rana, but I still enjoyed it. When Charlotte did a dive, put a one-of-the-dive counter. This is when I was told that apparently during that Charlotte Alexis get earlier, Carolina James and Julia were talking in the background. Now I'm a bit worried about this because Julia won that US championship, she's done nothing. I don't understand it. And Keanu James hasn't been on TV in ages because she was injured, so we'll wait and see on this one, but it's a little bit of a veered return. I mean, it kind of felt like Keanu must have snuck in, which is when Roxanne Perez was like, I'm going to cast distraction because I enjoy doing that, put a one on a dickboard, but because Alexa Bliss was out there, she tried to stop it, and of course Raquel Rodriguez took advantage. That's what bad guys do. But I actually know, she threw Charlotte right to Rita the ringpost, and then when Charlotte I finally got back into this and she climbed to the turnbuckle and she went for a cross body,

Raquel Rodriguez picked her up and slammed her down. That was pretty cool. Big women, slapping woman meat. Charlotte Flan then returned the favour because she was able to big boot her way out of the power bomb, which is when Roxanne Perez cast distraction again, but we've done the dickboard.

But because the referee wasn't looking, and I really enjoyed this finish, right? Alexa Bliss jumped on the apron. She's not what you're going to cheat. I'm going to cheat too, and she hit Raquel with a pom-pom. Now, she also guillotined her neck over the top rope, but I was still a bit like what was in that pump pump, a brick, Charlotte Flair, then hit the most devastating move in all

of sports entertainment. with the top rope, but I was still a bit like, what was in that pompom? A brick, Charlotte Flair,

then hit the most devastating move in all of sports entertainment surprise roll-up. And she got the one, two, three. And listen, I know there was distraction, I know there was confusion. I know once again, as always, we were lying on the roll-up. This was so fun and kind of circumvented your expectations because I never thought Alexa Bliss would do this. I'm absolutely giving it an up.

All we have done here is... and kind of circumvented your expectations because I never thought Alexa Bliss would do this.

I'm absolutely giving it an up. All we have done here is that listen Charlotte, have fun.

Listen Alexa, go have fun and it allows me to have fun too. This really is a superb tag team.

I like Raquel and Roxanne as well, especially because Lib Morgan will come back eventually.

No notes here and I'm excited about the women's tag team division again. Don't ruin it, W.E. Do not let it vanish into the phantom zone. It's happened too many times. The police or the cops. Then found Adam Pearce and goodness for that. This was even better. Because they were like, listen, we're looking for Jacob for two because we need to to question him, because we've had a tip-off, which of course came from Solisokoa, when they turned around and the first person they saw was Jacob for two. This is wonderful. This is why professional wrestling can never change. Obviously, Jake was like, I didn't do nothing, and he threatened to beat up the police. I was like, Jake, bro, don't do that. They'll definitely think you're guilty. Anyway, they did put him in the car and off to the station he went. We then got a video for Jake Cargill versus Tiffany strap at SummerSlam and man, I hope we do more than this. Given there's only two weeks to go, I think we should have done something in the ring. Once again, I shall be patient.

When we went back to everything between Damian Priest, Ron Killings, Alice the Black and Carmelo Hayes. But this week, Carmela Hayes was here, but Ron's Killings wasn't. I don't

understand this. It's always a threesome. There's four people involved, but we ever see three people.

Anyway, here, Damien Priest, I'm up to Carmela Hayes, like, listen, I'm sick of you sticking your nose in. And Camello was like, well, I'm sick of you too. So they're

going to go and have a match. We also got a quick advert for the naked gun movie, which Cody Rhodes is in. I just want to say, I'm very, very excited. If you'd like to know something about the personal life of Simon Miller. The Naked Gun trilogy of movies are some of my favourites ever.

This has to be good, otherwise I'll be sad. We then did get Carmara Hayes versus

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