Lori Uphold, welcome to seeing other people. I'm really excited to be here. I feel like you're an OG. No, you're one of those people who, like, we've known each other for years, but we never really had a conversation and this is the first time we're meeting face-to-face, but we've also known each other and been friends for years. I feel the same way. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's very exciting. I'm excited.

I'm so excited to have you. This isn't like a nice to meet you. This is like, oh my God, how have you been? Yeah. How have you been? Well, I've had, I guess I have exciting stuff too. You've moved. I wrote a book. You literally wrote a book. Okay. A Final girl's guide to the horrors of dating you also

have the best podcast ever crimes of the heart thank you there's so much so much i want to talk to you

about ask me anything what is like the number one thing like right now my brain is in a thousand places

where is your brain in this moment?

My brain is such a great question.

My brain is I feel like I'm on a mission to talk to people, but women, about like instead of, I really, the Hill All Die on is I think 90% of the problems we have in dating, not relationships, but dating, is that women have been

taught how to be chosen instead of learning how to choose. And I think that that affects us because we inherit these insecurities, this shame, these ideas of what we should want, how we should be, what relationships should look like.

All of these shoulds and all of this shame that isn't necessarily ours.

Where does this come from?

And to like take a step back and for someone to like hear that for the first time,

like we are,

feel like we should be chosen versus how to choose like,

and they're like, whoa.

Like what does that really look like?

What it looks like for me and like why I wrote this book is I've literally lived through all

of the horrors.

Like I've dated all of the monsters monsters been in all of these horrifying situations and that's not to say like woe is me I mean I also put myself in those positions and continue to

repeat patterns and things like that but I had this moment where I was like, I've learned so much

by doing the wrong thing. And I've learned so much the hard way. If I could spare a couple

people from making the same mistakes that I did, I want to. And when I went and I looked back

at it, I was like, oh, there are common denominators. And I feel like a lot of those common denominators stemmed from what I was like oh there are common denominators and I feel like a lot of those

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