Uninvited Guests - Conflict Resolution: How to Fight Fair in Your Marriage, Part 1

Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Daily Podcast

Living on the Edge

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.9 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What is the single biggest source of conflict in your marriage right now? Join Chip as he teaches you how to fight fair in marriage.

What I learned on the sandlot from the “Barnes Boys”

Conflict is normal, it's an opportunity for growth, it must be diffused or it will destroy, and it demands rules so no one gets hurt

God’s perspective on conflict:

Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world. -Jn. 16:33
Conflict flows from our differences and our selfishness. -Jms. 4:1-3
Conflict is an opportunity for growth. -Phil. 2:1-4

The most common communication styles:

Turtles: The goal is to avoid.
Sharks: The goal is to win.

How to diffuse conflict in your marriage:

D: DEFINE the problem (on your own). -Pr. 15:14
I: INITIATE a time to talk. -Matt. 5:23-24
F: FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Pr. 18:19
F: FEEL their pain. -Pr. 17:17
U: UNCOVER the root problem. -Pr. 20:5
S: SET things right between you. -Jms. 5:16
E: ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed. -Jms. 1:22-25

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0:00.0	What is the biggest source of conflict in your marriage right now?
0:06.0	Is it kids, job, money, in-laws?
0:09.0	How would you like to get those issues resolved in a way that nobody gets hurt?
0:16.0	How would you like to learn to fight fair in your marriage?
0:20.0	That's today. Welcome to this edition of Living on the Edge
0:24.7	with Chip Ingram. Our mission is to inspire Christians to be genuine followers of Jesus and to empower
0:31.0	them to be active disciple makers in our world. Thanks for joining us as we continue our series
0:36.4	uninvited guests, recognizing and resisting the attacks on your family.
0:40.3	Over the last handful of programs, Chips highlighted skills that make marriages thrive. For giving one another and clear communication, in just a minute, he'll unpack the third and final one, which could be the game changer for many couples navigating
0:55.4	conflict. Today you'll learn why it's not really about resolving arguments, but understanding how to
1:01.4	approach your spouse with gentleness so that everyone feels valued and heard. So with all that said,
1:07.8	here's Chip with his talk, How to Fight Fair in Marriage.
1:12.5	One of the first things I want to say
1:14.0	is you have to get over this naive, unbiblical notion
1:18.2	that conflict is wrong and abnormal, okay?
1:22.3	There's many of you that you were brought up in households.
1:26.1	Don't argue.
1:27.1	Stop arguing. Don't do that.
1:29.2	You believe, I mean, it's so subtle, conflict is wrong. Conflict is bad. An argument, a discussion,
1:36.8	a disagreement, having feelings that don't line up with the other person, automatically you think,
1:42.1	we have this big problem. I want to tell you
1:45.0	that conflict is normal. Conflict is biblical. Conflict is actually the key to growth.
	...

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