Uninvited Guests - Conflict Resolution: How to Fight Fair in Your Marriage, Part 2
Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Daily Podcast
Living on the Edge
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 17 October 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
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Summary
What is the single biggest source of conflict in your marriage right now? Join Chip as he teaches you how to fight fair in marriage.
What I learned on the sandlot from the “Barnes Boys”
- Conflict is normal, it's an opportunity for growth, it must be diffused or it will destroy, and it demands rules so no one gets hurt
God’s perspective on conflict:
- Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world. -Jn. 16:33
- Conflict flows from our differences and our selfishness. -Jms. 4:1-3
- Conflict is an opportunity for growth. -Phil. 2:1-4
The most common communication styles:
- Turtles: The goal is to avoid.
- Sharks: The goal is to win.
How to diffuse conflict in your marriage:
- D: DEFINE the problem (on your own). -Pr. 15:14
- I: INITIATE a time to talk. -Matt. 5:23-24
- F: FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Pr. 18:19
- F: FEEL their pain. -Pr. 17:17
- U: UNCOVER the root problem. -Pr. 20:5
- S: SET things right between you. -Jms. 5:16
- E: ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed. -Jms. 1:22-25
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Conflict, it is inevitable, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. However, left unresolved, |
| 0:09.0 | conflict has the power to destroy even the strongest marriages. So how do you resolve conflict? |
| 0:16.0 | How do you work through it effectively? That's what we're going to talk about today. |
| 0:20.0 | Thanks for listening to this edition of Living on the Year's work through it effectively. That's what we're going to talk about today. |
| 0:27.9 | Thanks for listening to this edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are in international teaching and discipleship ministry that encourages and equips Christians to live like Christians. |
| 0:33.0 | In this program, Chip continues our series Uninvited Guests, with the remainder of his talk, |
| 0:38.7 | Conflict Resolution, How to Fight Fair in Marriage. And in case you missed the first half, |
| 0:43.7 | or any other message in this teaching, visit Living on theedge.org, or wherever you listen to podcasts. |
| 0:51.3 | Okay, there's a lot more helpful content to get to, so let's join Ship now for today's talk. |
| 0:57.0 | Now what I like to do is I want to walk through an acronym. Are you ready for this? |
| 1:02.8 | Defuse. Can you believe I use that acronym? We want to diffuse the conflict. Literally, I look this up in Webster's. |
| 1:10.4 | It's the idea of something that's kind of coming to a boil and to diffuse means to spread |
| 1:15.6 | it out. |
| 1:16.6 | We want to diffuse the anger, diffuse the argument, diffuse the conflict so that instead of it being |
| 1:24.1 | attacking one another, you diffuse it to the point where both of you get God's |
| 1:28.4 | perspective and you resolve it God's way. So here's what I want you to do. Some of you, this will be very |
| 1:34.1 | easy. Some of you, maybe you've had a good last couple, three weeks, try and remember, I want you to |
| 1:40.6 | bring to your mind the biggest conflict in your marriage right now. Okay? I mean, let's not go through this, like I'm gonna give you something to do for each of these letters, and you all go, oh boy, that was so good. Wasn't that wonderful? If we ever have a fight or a disagreement, this will be nice. No, no, no, no, no. I want you to think of the biggest conflict in your marriage right now. Maybe it's where some money is being spent. |
| 2:03.4 | Maybe it's in the areas of intimacy in your life. Maybe it's in terms of where you're going to locate. |
| 2:08.3 | Maybe it's an issue about how you discipline the kids. I don't know what it is. Unfulfilled longings, |
| 2:15.3 | frustrations. But I want you to think of, this is the biggest conflict |
| 2:19.7 | in our marriage right now. Now, what I want to do is walk through a process to say, |
... |
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