Understanding the Drama Triangle: Why We Play Victim, Rescuer & Persecutor

Feeling Things with Amy & Kat

Nashville Podcast Network

Relationships, Self-improvement, Arts, Fashion & Beauty, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.7 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 9 December 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Kat and Amy go over the Drama Triangle today! Kat helps us unpack the difference between content vs. context (aka fact vs. the story we write about the fact), why our brains default to meaning-making, and how those stories can lift us above the line into possibility…or pull us below the line into fear, lack, and powerlessness.

Kat explains the 3 unconscious roles of the Drama Triangle: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor + why each one feels rewarding in the moment, and how they keep us trapped in unhealthy communication loops. Both Amy and Kat share some personal stories on the Drama Triangle showing up in their own lives.

They also talk about how quickly we rotate roles and what actually breaks the cycle: noticing your patterns, naming your feelings, setting boundaries, lowering expectations, and taking radical responsibility for yourself.

It’s an eye-opening and immediately practical episode. Plus, Amy brings in the “burnt toast theory” to show how reframing even the smallest moments can be helpful.

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HOSTS:

Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy

Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is an IHeart podcast.
0:02.5	Guaranteed Human.
0:05.5	One, two, please.
0:09.0	If you ever have feelings that you just want some,
0:12.8	Amy and Kat got you covered like an umbrella.
0:16.2	Ladies and fellas,
0:17.7	we just follow in the spirit where it tells us.
0:20.5	From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between.
0:25.6	Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things.
0:31.3	This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.
0:33.8	Happy Tuesday.
0:34.4	Welcome to Feeling Things.
0:35.4	I'm Amy.
0:35.8	And I'm Kat.
0:36.6	And today we are doing a
0:40.0	drama triangle. Sort of deep dive. Is it a deep dive into the drama triangle or just like
0:45.2	school time? I'd call it an overview. Oh, what, oh, overview? We're doing a, what do they
0:52.6	call it? High level. We're not getting into the weeds of it. Yeah. Okay. So this is just shallow dive. And then if we need to do a deep dive, we can. But I think that we'll hit what we need to hit. You know what you need to know by staying in the kitty pool. Where it's safe. Where it's safe. This is like a hot tub. Hot tub is like the safe part of the pool. We're not going deep. The hot tub is not is a different part of the pool. I know, but it's generally safe. Right? Because it's not. I guess so. I feel like hot tubs, some people have a weird relationship with them and they don't like them. What? Like people don't like to get into hot dumps because they can be gross.
1:50.0	The last time I did something at a public resort, it wasn't a hot tub hop-tub. It wasn't a hot tub, hot tub, it was a hot spring hot tub.
1:56.0	So it was natural from the earth.
1:58.0	And I think that the temperature of this particular spring was
2:03.0	105. So isn't that kill everything? Yeah. It was pretty hot, but it's snowing out. It's so cool.
	...

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