UFYB 80: Judgment V. Curiosity
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 9 May 2019
⏱️ 12 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today's episode, I break down why judgment is not serving you, especially as you embark on your thought work journey, and how practicing curiosity instead will open you to a much richer experience. The difference between judging your thoughts and having curiosity is a huge shift: curiosity doesn’t assume to know the answer. Curiosity doesn’t evaluate if something is good or bad. Curiosity doesn’t have an opinion. Curiosity pays attention.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, |
| 0:14.0 | and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your |
| 0:19.3 | host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Paura Lowenthal. |
| 0:31.3 | Hello my chickens, how are you all? The weather here in New York is glorious, so of course I'm |
| 0:37.0 | about to get on a plane and head out of town. I actually, as a little known fact about me, I have a |
| 0:42.1 | psychic ability to subconsciously predict the one week per season that the weather will be perfect |
| 0:48.2 | and then I book a trip out of town several months ahead of time. So I'm going to San Francisco to |
| 0:53.7 | see some good friends celebrate my birthday, then I'll be going to Dallas to teach some of my |
| 0:58.1 | coach students and meet with my brilliant mastermind. And I'm just super excited for this trip, |
| 1:02.7 | even though I leave for the airport in like an hour and I'm not done packing. That's just how I |
| 1:07.8 | roll. And also there's a dog on the street that's barking a lot and you might hear it because I can't |
| 1:13.1 | wait and record this another time. All right, so we have no time to waste. I got a pack, let's get |
| 1:19.8 | down to it. Some weeks, this is just how it rolls. So I think that we basically have two modes of |
| 1:26.5 | interacting with the world and that's what I want to talk to you about. That includes other people, |
| 1:31.4 | things that happen to us, even ourselves in our own brains. And those two ways are curiosity and |
| 1:38.5 | judgment. So most of us spend I think about 95% of our time in judgment and about 5% of our time |
| 1:45.5 | in curiosity. And I think the goal of thought work is to flip that proportion. Now for all my |
| 1:51.9 | lawyers and engineers trying to calculate the exact numbers right now, those are not scientific |
| 1:57.0 | percentages. I'm just saying we spend a lot of time judging and not a lot of time being curious |
| 2:03.1 | and I think we want to try to readjust that. So by judgment, I mean evaluating something and |
| 2:10.1 | deciding whether it's good or bad. Like if you like it or you don't like it, what you think about |
| 2:14.1 | it. Essentially, I just mean having an opinion about it. And judgment is sneaky because sometimes |
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