Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism,

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your

host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Carla Lohan-Thyle.

Hello chickens. So one of the funny things about having a podcast is that of course people listen to it

at different rates. So I often get emails either like loving or hating episodes that were like

wings or months ago, right? And I'm still getting messages about the teaching that I did about drama

and toxic people, quote unquote. And so today I want to teach you about a companion topic that I

think will help you understand how you can reconcile there being no drama or toxic people with what to do

in the rare instances where someone else's behavior is truly unacceptable for you even with a

management. And that topic is boundaries. So before we start we need to pause so that you can

call up in your brain whatever you have learned about boundaries before and just go ahead and

delete that file like move it to the mental trash can. Because if you learned about boundaries from

kind of online self-helpy discourse or your friends what you learned is probably totally wrong.

In my opinion which you can take or leave of course or at least I think it's very unhelpful.

So first I'm going to teach you what a boundary truly is and how to set one. And then we'll talk a

little bit about what a boundary is not and how you know when you're ready to set one and how to do it.

So a boundary is a decision you make for yourself about what you will do if a certain behavior

happens around you that you don't want to be around. So for example some people have a boundary

about not having cigarettes smoke in their home. Some people have a boundary about not being touched

without permission. Most of us have a boundary about not being punched in the face although possibly

not all of us. Some religious people or you know non-religious people might have a boundary around

swearing if it's against their beliefs so they don't like it. What you can see from this

...