Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your

host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Carla Lohanthile.

Hello, hello. It is cold. Winter is here, you guys. I'm not ready for it. I'm up

state this weekend, actually, where it's, I mean, like in New York City right now, it's

maybe fall up here. It's like Game of Thrones. Like winter is coming. You can see the frost

on the horizon. So this morning, I was kind of huddled on the blanket. No, I was huddled

on the porch under a blanket. That would make more sense. And I'm here with my partner,

and I was kind of thinking about how much has happened in the last five years since the

first time we came up here. And when I think back to that summer, it is just really crazy

how far I have come. So five years ago, I had just transitioned from being a women's rights

litigator into academia. And I was plagued with self doubt about my ability to write my

first law review article, which was just the first step, right? Much less ultimately get

a job as a law professor. And at the same time, I had just started dating my partner. And

I was consumed with anxiety about the relationship and whether I was kind of good enough to keep

him around. And I was just thinking about how back then, I had all of these theories about

myself. I mean, they were basically all just insecurity at the bottom line, but because

I am hyperverbal and analytical and I'd been to a lot of therapy and I'd read a lot of

19th century novels growing up, I had a lot of really complicated narratives about myself

that I used to like smuggle my lack of self confidence around and kind of make it seem

fancier and more interesting. So for instance, one of my theories about myself was that I

was not, quote, naturally an academic. I told people this all the time, like it made sense,

...