Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

Kara Loyenthyle.

Hello, hello.

It is cold.

Winter is here, you guys. I'm not ready for it. I'm up state this weekend actually where it's, I mean like in New York City right now, it's maybe fall. Up here, it's like Game of Thrones. Like winter winter is coming you can see the frost on the horizon.

So this morning I was kind of huddled on the blanket. No I was settled on the porch under a blanket that would make more sense. And I'm here with my partner, and I was kind of thinking about how much has happened in the last five years since the first time we came up here.

And when I think back to that summer, it is just really crazy how far I have come.

So five years ago, I had just transitioned from being a women's rights litigator into academia, and I was plagued with

self-doubt about my ability to write my first law review article, which was just the first

step, right, much less ultimately get a job as a law professor.

And at the same time, I had just started dating my partner

and I was consumed with anxiety about the relationship

and whether I was kind of good enough to keep him around.

And I was just thinking about how back then I had all of these

theories about myself. I mean they were basically all just insecurity at the bottom line, but because I am hyperverbal and analytical and I had been to

a lot of therapy and I'd read a lot of 19th century novels growing up, I had a lot of really

complicated narratives about myself that I used to like smuggle my lack of self-confidence

around and kind of make it seem fancier and more interesting.

So for instance, one of my theories about myself was that I was not, quote, naturally an academic.

I told people this all the time, like it made sense, like that was a coherent thing to say.

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