Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism,

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your

host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Carla Lohanthile.

Hello my chickens. How are you? I feel like this time of year is just barreling

towards summer. Like February and March can feel a fucking endless and then suddenly

like, hi, it's almost June. The perception of time is a weird, weird thing.

Anyway, that is now what we are here to talk about. Today we are here to talk about

criticizing other people and how to stop doing it. This is actually gonna be a two-part

episode because I wrote this and I was like, wow, that's long. This is too much. So we're

gonna do this in two episodes. In this episode, I'm gonna be more talking about diagnosing

and understanding the problem. And then in the next episode, I'm gonna teach you more

what to do about it and what I've been doing about it. So I feel like I need to give a little

bit of a framing and disclaimer for this because I know that some of us have our hackles

going up already, especially our feminist hackles, that this is not an episode about how ever

expressing your opinion is criticizing or that women should just be nice and gentle and

whatever nonsense. Like all the dumb shit online, that's like, well if you just don't expect

anything of your male partner, then he'll be motivated to step up and provide it. That's

obviously not what I'm talking about. Criticism is not the same as asking for what you

want or sharing consent to feedback or stating a boundary or letting someone know your

opinion on something when it's kind of appropriate and warranted. And I'm sorry that there's

no clear bright line rule for when feedback is feedback and when it's an opinion and when

it's a request and when it's criticism. We have to use our discernment and I actually

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