UFYB 289: Loving v. Being Loved and Which Feels Better
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 11 May 2023
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
There is a difference in how I feel about loving my partner and how he feels about loving me. And recently, while trying to work on creating more feelings of bliss for myself in our relationship, I realized that my socialization as a woman was affecting the way that I approached loving my partner. And this socialization doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, it can affect your platonic relationships as well. Tune in to find out the difference between loving someone else and being loved, which feels better, and how you can create more feelings of bliss in all your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/289
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, |
| 0:14.0 | and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your |
| 0:19.3 | host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Carla Lohanthile. |
| 0:27.3 | Hello, my chickens. How are you? I am having a human experience. I tell you what. Are you |
| 0:35.6 | having the human experience, too? You probably are. But you know, the good thing about the human |
| 0:40.9 | experience is that there's usually insight and growth on the other side of it. I mean, there's |
| 0:46.4 | not really another side to the human experience overall of death, but I just mean like when we are |
| 0:52.4 | really in it, like when it is not going the way we want and we are having a lot of thoughts and |
| 0:57.8 | feelings, if we are willing to stay present and curious, then I think there is usually some learning |
| 1:02.9 | on the other side of that, even if it's just kind of learning about how we respond to the world, |
| 1:08.4 | which is some of the most important learning there is, I think. So last week I was in New Orleans |
| 1:14.3 | for my birthday, and I was thinking about the past couple of years as I think is common on a |
| 1:19.8 | birthday. So I turned 42 this year, which I'm almost positive is correct. Keep having to do the |
| 1:27.0 | math. Yes, that's right. And for me, my 40th birthday was a really significant experience, and then |
| 1:34.8 | 41-42 have been kind of fine before he was a really breakthrough year for me, especially around |
| 1:41.2 | love and how I was thinking about my dating life and love and being partnered. And I've talked about |
| 1:47.3 | this on the podcast before, but I'm going to kind of retell the story briefly because it's kind of |
| 1:50.8 | important to this episode that I had a big breakthrough right around that birthday, which was that I |
| 1:57.6 | had been, you know, using thought work and working with coaches on my kind of dating mindset for a |
| 2:04.0 | while. And then I had done some intensive work with coaches that year, and was still working with them. |
| 2:10.1 | And the year I was turning 40 was that was 2021. Vaccines for COVID had just become available, and |
| 2:20.0 | sort of a lot was going on. Like we had a birthday party for me. I rented a like a hotel kind of |
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