Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain, the only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach,

Carla Lohanthial.

Hello, are we all coping okay with the transition?

I know, last week's podcast might have thrown some of you for a loop.

So, I hope we're all doing okay with our thoughts and feelings.

Today I want to talk about this phrase, I hear a lot from my clients and my friends and my colleagues.

I hear it over coffee, I hear it on conference panels, I overheard on the subway,

I hear it everywhere, and that phrase is bad feminist.

I feel like a bad feminist, but, dot, dot, dot, maybe I'm a bad feminist, but, dot, dot, dot,

right?

And bad feminist is always followed by a confession that in some way or another, the speakers' feelings, actions and beliefs don't match up.

Maybe it makes me a bad feminist, but I just really want a boyfriend, so I don't have to go to family functions alone.

I feel like a bad feminist, but I don't want to seem too pushy if I ask for more responsibility at work.

I worry I'm a bad feminist, but I never say anything when the director of my department makes sexist jokes,

because I don't want to get on his bad side.

Does it make me a bad feminist if I want to change my name when I get married?

There are lots of reasons that women give for not always feeling empowered to act on their beliefs.

And most of these are external circumstances, like what other people will think, or the professional consequences, or the social pressure.

But ultimately, the real conflict comes down to two mental processes.

Number one, the first one is the process that causes this disconnect, and the number two is why you feel bad about it.

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