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Absolutely Not

TWO WEEKS TOO LONG

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.913.6K Ratings

🗓️ 21 July 2022

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her whirlwind year long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed and wildly in love- she is lucky to not be in an italian jail cell after clearly spending TOO MUCH TIME with her husband Jeff. She breaks down the importance of communication, how much wine she drank every day at lunch and her plans to do it all over again.

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Produced by Dear Media

Transcript

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0:00.0

The following podcast is a deer media production.

0:06.5

Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.

0:12.4

I'm your host Heather McMahon.

0:20.4

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the

0:24.3

Absolutely Not Podcast. I'm your host Heather McMahon. How the hell are you?

0:31.3

What and I cannot stress this enough? The fuck is going on. I have a great pillow that sits on my

0:37.8

couch that these lovely ladies who came to one of my shows gave me and the pillow says,

0:42.0

what and I cannot stress this enough? The fuck? So what the fuck? How are we doing?

0:48.8

Oh, should I say, bonjourno, because I'm basically an Italian citizen now.

0:55.3

Fresh off my month in Italy, we have so much to unpack, so much to recap.

1:00.9

But I'm going to go ahead and tell you this right now.

1:03.2

I'm going to tell you this right now. This could be a 25 part series.

1:08.2

And I've realized that I do so much for you. I am a very giving entertainer.

1:14.8

I am a selfless friend, if you will. I provide you so much content, fun, and really

1:22.9

relatability that it's honestly, it's embarrassing for me. I cannot tell you how many managers,

1:30.7

agents, publicists, people in the biz, if you will have said, hey Heather, don't share so much.

1:37.3

Keep it to yourself for, you know, your upcoming television show or your tours. And I say, no,

1:44.1

I got to give the people in real time what the fuck is happening? And I cannot stress this enough.

1:49.8

What what the fuck is happening in my life? But there are some golden nuggets that I that can only

1:56.9

be recapped on the tour in the fall. And if you don't know this as a comedian, it actually takes

2:02.5

people years, if not months, to come up with a new hour of material. And if you came out on my last

2:09.3

tour, I give you, I give you a solid hour 30, sometimes hour 15, y'all have already fallen asleep.

...

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