Tuesday, 12.9.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.9 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 9 December 2025

⏱️ 113 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo is begrudgingly durable, and is cooking up a lawsuit. Bob gives Lazlo a chair, and SlimFast steals steaks from Aldi. Taylor is paying a bride a LOT of money (hopefully) for a venue, and Philip Rivers is coming out of retirement. Lazlo gets on SlimFast for masterbaiting on to the floor, and Summer explains smutty Fanfiction. Lazlo tells his Emergency Room story. In Headlines, the guys discuss Paramount's hostile bid for Warner Bros, a man shooting a shopper because he thought he was stealing, Australia restricting children from accessing social media, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0	The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
0:11.0	Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.
0:18.0	For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.
0:23.8	And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt
0:31.2	to poison and destroy my brothers.
0:34.4	And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.
0:42.0	Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.
0:47.3	Yo!
0:47.8	My man, how are you?
0:49.7	I'm great.
0:50.3	How are you?
0:50.8	I'm good, man.
0:51.8	You're alive.
0:52.9	I'm alive.
0:53.5	Another day.
0:55.1	Another day. I was thinking about this morning, you know i woke up a little bit earlier and you know i'm scrolling
1:00.4	through you know x and instagram and everybody's like hashtag mom boss hashtag that's you
1:06.9	blessed you're a mom boss hashtag you know whatever motivational monday and i don't know all that
1:14.3	stuff right and i was just like man i don't fit any of that she do you survived i know but i'm just
1:19.1	begrudgingly and that's what i was like man i don't you know i'm doing my syringe this morning and i'm
1:26.5	like man i am just durable begrudginggingly durable is what kept hitting my head. Like, I don't know that I want to do this. Yeah, but you're scared to die of a deadly disease. I don't have any other options. Just like I'm doing it all begrudgingly. Yeah. I don't like any of it. I don't want to do it it. I don't suggest you do it. And I'm not a motivational speaker. I'm not trying to get you excited
1:47.8	about it. Yeah, I get that. That's good. You know, whatever. Do whatever you want. And it really
	...

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