Welcome to love and abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship, from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Question I get often is, am I the abusive one?

Am I the hurtful one?

Am I the difficult one?

I've answered it a few times on this show,

and I probably answer it every episode, but that's what I hear often is people write to me and say, this is happening in my relationship.

Am I the narcissist? Am I the emotionally abusive one? And here's my stock answer. My stock answer is

emotionally abusive people listen to shows like this to prove the other person is the problem, hoping they can find tools to make that person show up better.

That's the emotionally abusive person side.

So the emotionally abusive person will listen to shows like this to prove the other person is the problem,

hoping they can find tools to make that person show up better.

In other words, to control or change the other person.

The victims of emotional abuse will listen to this show because they want to show up as the best version of themselves so that they aren't a problem to that person.

Do you hear the difference? Do you get the difference?

I'm not saying emotionally abusive people don't listen to this show for that reason, too.

Like, there are some emotionally abusive people that start their healing journey.

And so they will listen to a show like this and they will try to learn about their own

behavior so that they don't do those behaviors

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