Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thank you for joining me for another episode of love and abuse.

If this is your first time, I'm sorry that you had to tune into a show like this, but I'm glad that you're here to learn something that may help you in your life, in your

relationship, and maybe give you the tools you need to make decisions that are right for you.

And today I'm going to talk about recursive behavior or abusive behavior that repeats usually because it works.

For example, somebody wrote to me and said, every time my fiancé gets mad because I have

asked for something that I think is reasonable, but it requires him to change something he's done or is doing.

Then he claims that he feels beaten down and then he tells me he'll move out.

He says, this is what he feels in the heat of the moment when he says it.

But then he comes back and says,

I hate when we fight, I love you, I don't want to lose you, I don't want to leave, and it just

repeats itself. He threatens to leave and then he comes back and she doesn't even say if he

apologizes or not. He just threatens to leave and it's driving me crazy. He says that,

here it is, he rarely apologizes for hurting me and my resentment is growing because it doesn't

seem like that he cares that he's hurting me. Or his solution is to break up because he can't

or won't stop or change this. This is taking a major toll on me and our relationship,

and I also don't trust that he won't abandon me and my children

...