Trader Joe's Parking Lots with Jessica McClintock

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

4 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 May 2021

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever shopped at a Trader Joe's, you know the deep and sense of doom that leak out of those palaces of peanut butter pretzels. But why are they so weirdly built, and why are the parking lots such nightmares to navigate? This week, returning champ Jessica McClintock is here to explain her theory on why the parking lots, the aisles, and sometimes even the food in a Trader Joe's grocery store are so friggin weird. Join us for a tale of corporate sliminess, urban anxiety, and seasonal kringle.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You have a blackberry or a boys and berry jam.
0:21.0	I'm firmly in the berry camp, I'll eat any berry jam.
0:25.2	I don't love, I don't think you can have grape jam, grape
0:29.8	jam.
0:32.3	Unless there's like skins and seeds in it.
0:35.8	You really want.
0:37.8	That's nice.
0:39.0	I don't, I'm with you, for me it's raspberry or blackberry but I like any,
0:44.6	anything with seeds I'm into.
0:46.3	I love a little texture in there.
0:48.2	Yeah.
0:49.2	That's why like an apricot preserve because it's got some real chew to it.
0:52.8	I can get down with that or like a marmalade.
0:56.6	Just like Paddington likes.
0:58.4	Yeah, just like the lady is.
1:00.9	Todd was telling me last night and I don't know if this is the news,
1:04.9	the ear listeners are here for, but I guess some sort of,
1:10.1	let me back up.
1:10.9	I haven't even said anything yet.
1:12.0	I'm already backing up.
1:13.1	Citizen, citizen cane historically has been like the best reviewed
1:19.2	Yes, I also have all time.
	...

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