The following podcast is a deer media production.

Thank fucking God. I'm back. When I tell you that I am so overjoyed to be sitting in the

privacy of my own home in my fucking pajamas, podcasting like I do, I cannot even tell you.

This past week has been the longest week of my entire life. It is Tuesday morning. I had my last

show of this run in Los Angeles last night. I am going to give you guys a full play by play.

I am elated. I am slipping and sliding from pure ecstasy to be doing what I love to do,

talking shit behind a microphone at home without an audience. Just in the spirit of transparency,

you know, I am not a standard comedian. I'm not an actress. I mean, I'm not a model. I'm not a

performer. I'm none of those things. And before this tour, the only onstage work I've ever done

was at my fucking bot mitzvah and at the high school lip sync competition, which I slayed and one

with a gorgeous medley and a grand finale of Gasolina by Daddy Yankees. So you can just imagine

that kind of footwork that I handled. I'm an amazing lip sync. Or you should know it. Also on a

cruise when I was like 18, I entered the Princess Pop Star competition and did a performance of

no scrubs that would bring a tear to your eye. But enough about that. So beyond all of those wildly,

wildly successful performances, I have never done anything on stage. And a lot of people were

saying to me that, you know, once you get out there, people are cheering for you. You get in a

adrenaline high. I experience none of those things. And believe me, it would only benefit me

monetarily to really, really crave it and love it and get a big ol' slippery dick boner for, you know,

the the off to performance. But it is essentially not who I am. And I am so proud of myself that I was

able to not only go on tour, but nail the fuck out of it. And that's not arrogance. It's the truth.

I have a very strong sense of self-mind body soul connection. So I knew that all the people that

were telling me, you're gonna love it, you're gonna love it, you're gonna love it. They're not in

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