So tonight is about relationships. In general, if I was to summarize the great underlying issue that plagues adult human life and creates so much suffering is that we try to solve

emotional issues intellectually or as if they're strategic puzzles to play like a game.

In fact, each human mind contains distinct personalities with distinct needs,

distinct ways of expressing those needs.

And the more we try to solve all of those needs in one way,

the more we leave ourselves open for suffering and those in our lives will become frustrated and suffer as well.

The most basic roots of human personality and human behavior lie in

sub-courtical brain, which is midbrain and brainstem and those are areas of the brain that are just

fixated on survival, getting enough food and avoiding threats, in essence keeping us alive for another day.

And I won't be talking about those needs because I hope that you're all safe and have enough food to eat tonight.

I will be talking about the other two and their relationship.

The right hemisphere of the human brain is wholly concerned with

attaining connection with others. It sees the world not in terms of isolated individual parts but as holes. It keeps track of how

well connected we are to our tribes and to other people. It expresses its needs through physical emotions rather than through words and ideas.

It's largely implicit, which means unconscious. We're not aware very often of the workings of our emotional brain.

While I'm talking to you right now you're listening to my words and if you're

looking at any place on my face you're probably looking most at my mouth,

which means your left hemisphere is guiding how your brain is working.

But meanwhile, every couple of moments of while I talk for split seconds, roughly around 2 to 300

milliseconds in length, your eyes shift from my mouth to my eyes.

And this is done unconsciously.

You're not even aware that you're doing it,

...