The greatest wounds we humans face emotionally are almost all caused by relationships, they're relational.

If you look at the recent work by people like neuropsychologists like Lieberman, on shore, finagi, and on and on and on. What we see is that the brain is specifically set up in such a way as to store

the and to alert us to how well connected we are to other people.

And that our emotional wounds are by and large caused by interpersonal events that leave us feeling cut off, abandoned

rejected, shamedamed unwanted.

The right anterior cingulate cortex, if you care,

is actually a part of the c that alerts us to, it has the greatest control over where you focus your attention.

Your left singular controls your attention where you want it to go,

like when you want to think about work or you want to focus on a TV show or you want to focus on Facebook or you want to focus on some project

you're doing.

Any volitional work you do is by your left singular, but your right singular, you

have no volitional control over it

it's there to alert you to the fact that you're in physical pain

but just as often it's there to alert you to the after effects of interpersonal woundings and traumas.

So your emotional right hemisphere is actually far more powerful than your left, which is why sometimes in life we can't

get ourselves out of those loops where we start.

We want to think about anything else but that breakup or that, you know, bad news that we found out about,

but we can't stop thinking about it.

And if we look at the core anxieties that people are the most, the stages of anxiety that human beings move through and our lifespan. of our lives

life span will see that virtually all of them have to do with how well

connected we are to other people. We are after all a social species

we are a species of pack animals that connect to survive. We don't as it were run fast, climb trees very well, dig holes, we don't jump into the ocean and swim with great alacrity. So when it comes to being surrounded by predators, wild coyotes, any kind of natural threat, the greatest tool that human beings have is our ability to connect to survive.

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