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93X Half-Assed Morning Show

Too Broke to Dream

93X Half-Assed Morning Show

93X | Cumulus Media Minneapolis | KXXR-FM

Comedy Interviews, News, Sports News, Comedy, Music

4.7972 Ratings

🗓️ 9 June 2026

⏱️ 149 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Originally Aired June 9, 2026: Dead body beer. Butter run. Everything you wanna know about Natlaie Starboardman.   

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:
Twitter/X: @93XHAMS
Facebook: @93XHAMS
Instagram: @93XHAMS
Email the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello to our favorite listeners.

0:01.6

That's the podcast listeners I'm talking about.

0:03.5

It's Dana here, and I'm a smart club member of standard heating and air conditioning, and it's a good thing I am because my air conditioning unit is older than I am. I had a tune-up recently in the text that the thing belongs in a museum. That's just how good standard is. They can take a unit from the 70s and keep her humming summer after summer. right now you can save 35 bucks on an AC tune-up or double your savings is 70 bucks off when you add your furnace.

0:26.6

Don't wait. Get ahead of things.

0:28.9

Procrastination can be fun, but the feeling of checking something off your list is much better.

0:33.1

Scheduled by June 15th at standardheating.com and get her done.

0:36.9

Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.

0:40.8

Enjoy the show.

0:41.5

The 93X-Hapast morning show.

0:45.3

Ninety-three.

0:47.6

And here we friggin' go with the Tuesday broadcast.

1:04.5

I feel much better than I did this time yesterday.

1:07.8

Yesterday, Josh, I just felt weird.

1:10.4

Yeah, Mondays can be like that, right? Now, that doesn't mean my on-air performance today will be any better or worse. I'm just telling you that yesterday I felt weird. And you were weird too yesterday. I was? I didn't like to look in your eye. Oh, yeah. You know, I felt that way a little bit. Yeah, we both... That's a terrible feeling. isn't it? Something funny happens there where you just kind of feel weird and then... I hate that thing. Sometimes it lasts a whole week. Or... Do you call it... Most of your life? Do you call it weird week? Well, you know, it happens so often. Sorry, everybody. I'm in the middle of weird week. Hey, hey, it's weird week. Relax.

2:01.0

Take it easy on me. Sometimes it lasts a lifetime. It can, yeah. Oh, my God. What's going on today? It's going to be mad hot for a couple of days in a row. That blows. Disgusting. Are we getting storms today or tomorrow?

2:06.1

Think of that they said tonight and into tomorrow. Big ones? Yeah. A little of both. Little of today.

2:12.7

Little to them. I'm going to freeze to near death in my stupid, overly cold, haunted Civil War burial groundhouse.

3:26.0

I'm so sorry. I'm going to freeze to death in that pig. The next guy. Once you turn the air conditioning on in my home, Josh, my wife and I look like Kurt Russell and Keith David in the closing scene from The Thing. If you know that movie, you know what I'm saying. And for the record, if you haven't seen The Thing from 19 and 82, you're not a good person. But if you know the movie, the closing scene, Kurt Russell and Keith, that's my wife and I sitting in the living room when we have to use the air conditioning in our overly cold, haunted. So it's going to be hot and humid. Well, yeah, my, you know, my house actually was pretty freezing yesterday, too, especially the basement. Is it haunted? It's like 15 degrees colder down there. I don't think it's haunted. I mean, I guess to make a movie reference, if you and I were down there, we'd look like Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunn on a moped or whatever they were running. Dude, that's a good one. That's a good, yeah, the frozen snot, everything. I've got an extra pair of gloves I'm not telling you about. It sucks. Every summer, since I moved into this joint, I confuse everybody when I say, oh, Christ, it's going to be hot the next few days. I'm going to freeze my balls off. And everyone says, what do you mean? Well, stop by my house once in a while in the summer. You'll know what I'm talking about. If you missed it yesterday

3:28.0

or you haven't heard the ads over the air,

3:30.3

we're all set up for our silly

3:31.8

Independence Day boat party again.

3:33.8

Awesome.

...

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