Todd Baratz - Love Can (And Should) Be A Little Challenging

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2024

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Talking points: relationships, sex, social media, non-monogamy If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I think the current dating scene is, in a word, messy. So I’m grateful to have sat with Todd Baratz on why that’s the case. I love Todd’s practical, honest yet understanding perspective on the issues, because it allows for all the complexity and nuance relationships can bring. To sum it up: communicate, communicate, communicate. (00:00:00) - Todd on why modern relationships seem like a mess, new social values, and social media’s effect (00:13:54) - What causes us to sometimes lose a deep sense of self in relationships, and how our original attachment contributes (00:18:30) - How all this influences sexual expression, and bridging the gap between different preferences (00:25:47) - What you need to open a dialogue about what you want sexually, and where couples go wrong (00:32:41) - “Too good to leave, too bad to stay”, and are relationships starving for lack of community? (00:37:02) - Do straight and queer couples deal with similar issues? And navigating non-monogamy (00:44:26) - Dealing with relationship power struggles (00:47:28) - When your partner asks for something, just do it Todd Baratz is a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist whose innovative approach to mental health and relationships has established him as a leading figure in his field. In addition to his clinical practice, Baratz is a prolific writer and speaker. His insights are regularly featured in various media outlets, where he discusses topics ranging from romantic relationships to individual mental wellness. He lives in New York City and Los Angeles. Learn more on Instagram under his handle YourDiagnonsense. Connect with Todd -Website: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense -Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4c80FbeT9YmbyE6B6NMTgN -Book: How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/book/ *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, Mr. Todd, welcome to the band talk show. How you doing today?
0:10.5	Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm good. I guess I can say, I can say that. I am good. How are you?
0:17.3	That's good. Yeah, I can say that I'm good. Yeah. Wonderful. Well, let's dive straight in, man. Why is modern love and relationships such a mess? What the fuck is happening? Well, relationships, firstly, are really, really challenging. They are going to stir up everything from our past, our present, cultural shit, trauma, wounds, absolutely everything. And that's
0:40.3	going to happen and it's going to feel extremely overwhelming. And none of us really have
0:45.0	that many tools to manage our emotions, to communicate properly when we're having large
0:50.3	emotions. And so we're kind of walking into this very scary place blinded.
0:57.2	So relationships generally are very hard.
1:00.2	They're going to stir up very difficult emotions and they're just very hard.
1:05.8	But then we start thinking about what we hear about relationships, the pressures around
1:10.5	relationships, the pressures around relationships,
1:11.2	the new social values around relationships. And I believe that that just exacerbates relationships.
1:16.2	You know, we're told who to desire, what to desire, how a relationship should be, what a healthy
1:20.8	relationship looks like. And now more than ever, we are experiencing so much social pressure
1:27.4	to have relationships that are basically perfect and anything less.
1:34.5	We're really encouraged to leave, which, you know, is not that simple.
1:37.6	So there's a lot of external pressure.
1:39.9	There's a lot of internal pressure.
1:41.5	There's a lot of emotional challenge.
1:44.0	And so cumulatively, it's just an of internal pressure. There's a lot of emotional challenge.
1:48.1	And so cumulatively, it's just an entire mind fuck.
1:53.2	What did you mean by the new social values of relationships?
1:59.5	It seems as any relational challenge lately is being refrained as something unhealthy.
	...

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