TL;DNR

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 31 December 2014

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A man suggested that his friend read a very long series of fantasy novels, but isn't satisfied with the pace of her reading.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor Jesse Thorne this week, T.L.D.N.R.
0:08.4	Andy brings the case against his friend Katie. Several years ago, he persuaded her to read his favorite fantasy series.
0:15.2	She also agreed to finish the series by his birthday. The date has come and gone, but Katie has not completed the books.
0:24.0	Should she pick up the pace, only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.
0:32.0	In the fabled city of Shadizar, Sultry, Princess Tamaris, hires Hodgman to recover the magical gem, known as the Heart of Arriman.
0:43.9	Accompanied by the beautiful maiden, Jena, Hodgman must co-vanquish scheming murderous bombata,
0:50.7	the Princess's henchman and face the sinister guardians of the horn, only to confront the foul and ancient many fangs demon god Jesse.
1:02.5	With Jena's life and Hodgman's very solid stake, Hodgman must truly be Hodgman the judge.
1:10.2	Baylor demon god Jesse, swear them in.
1:13.6	Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever?
1:20.2	I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he's already read all the books?
1:27.8	I do. I do. Very well Judge Hodgman.
1:31.7	It's true. I've read all the books you guys read all the name of book. Andy, Katie, name a book.
1:41.6	The gathering storm. Yeah, I read it. Andy, you try me.
1:50.7	Mistborn. Yep. I read it. Yeah. That's not in the series.
1:56.7	It doesn't matter. I'm not saying I'm not just talking about this one series. I'm talking about all books.
2:01.6	Oh, all the books. Okay.
2:04.1	Andy and Katie, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your's favors. Can you name the cultural reference that I made as I entered the courtroom hint it refers to a book which I've read.
2:15.8	I think I have a guess is should I go?
2:21.0	Sure. You go. I don't know. Um, maybe something like Conan the barbarian?
2:27.8	Incorrect. Katie. I don't know. I appreciate your honesty, Katie.
2:33.2	And Andy, I'm so glad you guessed wrong because you got very close. Oh man. It is the book entitled Conan, the destroyer,
	...

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