Pizza Parley

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 24 December 2014

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A man seeks to enforce a contract regarding pizza toppings.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bail of Jesse Thorn. This week, pizza
0:07.9	parlay.
0:09.8	Meredith brings the case against her husband Jason. Years ago, they settled a fantasy
0:13.6	football dispute with a pizza truce. Jason would be allowed to choose Meredith's pizza
0:19.8	toppings for as long as they were together. They've been together now for years. Is their
0:25.5	contract still valid? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters
0:32.0	the court room.
0:33.8	We're coming your way. We're going to dazzle you with our judicious play. The time has
0:40.7	come. You know we're shooting for number one with thunderbolts and lightning. We'll
0:46.5	light up the sky. We'll give it all we've got and more with the Judge John Hodgman
0:53.2	try.
0:55.2	Bail of Jesse, please swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear
0:59.4	to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth? So help you God or whatever?
1:04.7	I do.
1:05.7	I do.
1:06.7	Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he orders
1:09.9	pizza on his anchovies? I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman.
1:14.9	Oh, we're at only possible, Jesse. I would absolutely. Yes. Why can't someone make a
1:22.1	crust of interlaced anchovies the way that they make baskets out of woven bacon for internet
1:29.6	websites? Meredith and Jason, if you're still standing, you may be seated for an immediate
1:33.7	summary judgment in one of yours favors. Are you able to name the piece of culture that
1:40.4	I paraphrased as I entered this very real but very fake courtroom?
	...

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