Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and

I'm just checking in on you. Oh, I'm just, oh, happy Turkey day to you. Oh, you know, stuffing and potatoes and pie and beer.

Cranberries and gravy and your cousin who's gay. Hey, what's going on? How are you? Happy Thanksgiving. Happy not having to fucking go to work today. Huh?

You're around the table. Are you sitting down yet? Well, if you haven't gone downstairs yet, I got some advice for you today.

I think there's going to be a lot of fucking arguments. A lot of fucking arguments at the table, right? The big fucking election. Some people wanted the guy with the eyebrows. Some people wanted the fucking way with the pantsuit. Right?

This is what you got to do. See, you're already going to have a fight, right? There's already going to be your older brother. There's going to be this person. There's going to be another person. Somebody's going to say something, right? And you're going to be going to have a couple of wild fucking turkeys.

Is just standing over there, you know, eating a fucking appetizer or two. Somebody's going to be getting on your nerves. Maybe somebody's fucking wife who won't shut the fuck up. Right?

Why the fuck did he marry her? Maybe, maybe it's the husband. Jesus Christ, what is she doing with this guy? All he does is fucking talk about himself. Something's going to drive you up the fucking wall.

If it's not this, it's going to be that this is this is the phrase. This is the phrase that's going to save you day. Okay? Save the whole fucking day because you're not going to change anybody's opinion. All these fucking jerk off. Still yelling. How could you vote for Trump?

Well, what the fuck about Hillary? You're not changing. You're just going to fucking yell at each other. So here's the phrase you got to use to get through this fucking day. All right, along with the alcohol or whatever drug you fucking want to use. Just fair enough.

You know, hey, fair enough. That's all you got to do. What'd you say? Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, guys, fair enough, fair enough, whatever. You don't need to see him anymore. Right?

Now, if you're younger and you still live there, that's kind of fucking tough. I don't know what to tell you. But if you've already moved out of the house, why are you still arguing with these people? Why are you still trying to change their fucking minds? You're not going to change their minds.

All right, I don't give a fuck if you're majoring in debating. It's your stupid fucking school in the woods. Whatever the fuck it is you did. Now you're coming back. And now you think you know something. And you think that your fucking siblings want to hear it. You know what?

They don't the same way you don't want to hear the way they fucking eat when they have they've had a couple two three, right? And all of a sudden the man everything just sounds like they're eating fucking mashed potatoes.

You know, you start having these murderous fucking thoughts. You know, just fair enough. Hey, fair enough. Whatever, whatever. Was that what you think? Is that how you look at the world? Hey, God bless you.

Pass the fucking piece in carrots. Fair enough. Fair enough. You know, that's all you got to do. Eventually the meal's going to be over. All right. And you're going to get in your fucking car. You're going to drive away.

Unless you're staying there for the weekend. Well, then you got to go out to I don't know. You got to. You got to. You got to get the fuck out of there.

Yeah, Thanksgiving is a such a great day. There's no pressure to get any gifts. Eat in a bunch of great food. All of that is tremendous. Okay. Unless.

Unless you go into her fucking family's house or his family's house. That's a weird one.

Because you know, you're used to all your family's food and Thanksgiving. You know how it's supposed to taste. Now you're going to go somewhere else. It's going to taste a little bit different.

You know, this is like a classic stand up. It like here's how it usually is. But when you fucking blah, blah, blah. It's a whole different story.

Right. And you just got to suck it up and just be like, you know, worst case scenario. This absolutely fucking sucks.

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