Thursday 3.5.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.9 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 5 March 2026

⏱️ 123 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’d be a crime to not listen to Limp Biscuit in the morning. Lazlo gets hydrant-like puke if he takes too much kratom. Lazlo and SlimFast discover ‘low income eyes,’ ‘trailer park cheekbones,’ and ‘high body count hair.’ Would you drink with your friends? RIP Lou Holtz. Women get IBS more than men?? In Headlines, Lazlo and SlimFast talk about Kristi Noem getting grilled, a mom who got in trouble for providing drinks to a group of kids, Pam Bondi getting subpoenaed, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
0:11.1	Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.
0:17.8	For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.
0:22.6	And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
0:33.6	And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.
0:41.7	Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.
0:47.1	Yo!
0:47.7	What are you doing, my friend?
0:49.4	Oh, nothing.
0:50.1	How are you?
0:50.6	I'm great.
0:51.2	Good.
0:51.8	No problem.
0:52.6	Glad to hear it.
0:54.0	I saw you pull in with your Uber? Huh? It looked like a big Uber X. Nice. I was like, who was getting out of that limo? You look like Harvey from suits. It was taking that big white limo SUV wherever you go, jumping out of the car. It was an old... I'm a peasant, parking, you know, listening to dad vibes. Yeah, you are.
1:14.4	I heard... wherever you go, jumping out of the car. It was an old... I am, a peasant, parking, you know, listening to Dad vibes.
1:13.4	Yeah, you were.
1:14.3	I heard Limp Biscuit, and I was like, uh-huh, he's listening to Limp Biscuit, and I was like, it's like new Lump Biscuit, wait. Wait, that's one of those new songs. But I couldn't remember how new.
1:23.0	I was like, is it like 2006 new?
1:25.8	Or it was after people.
1:27.3	It's from the album that's widely underappreciated.
1:29.9	Limp Biscuit still sucks.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Audacy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Audacy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.