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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Thursday 3.12.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 121 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SlimFast remembers when he was Lazlos’ twink, and Lazlo's involved with an investigation. Kathy Ireland is now poor. How does Lazlo feel about Joe Burrow dating Jessica Alba? Why do people go on float trips?? SlimFast gives updates on the current conflict in Iran. Mike DeRosa didn’t ‘misspeak,’ he tried covering his mistake. The guys who made Ozempic are going broke. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.1

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:17.9

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.5

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.9

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.2

As you will know, my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.8

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:48.6

Yo!

0:49.3

You!

0:50.2

All right.

0:51.6

It's just been just not a great way.

0:53.7

I mean, you know, not the worst the worst we ever have it ain't been

0:55.5

great but i came in here and i said nice shirt and the next thing i know you're talking about how

1:02.5

you go yeah i ordered a couple tops yeah what i know you like it when i say tops so i mean i just i want

1:09.9

it makes it's 6.02 in the morning so i'm, I don't want to do this the rest of the day.

1:14.4

Like, I don't want to do it.

1:16.4

Like, I don't.

1:17.4

You got here just in time because summer was going through the whole dilemma of being a woman and how much it costs for tops and bottoms and you have to pay separate

1:29.4

for tops and bottoms i was looking for a new bikini because i'm going to the beach but then the bikini

1:33.8

it's like 40 but i thought it was on sale 40 bucks for the top 40 bucks for the bottom i was like

1:37.5

oh my god it's like two inches big what are we talking about it's crazy just a couple girls chat

1:43.6

be a pair thank you i was a little surprised they are like they're Big, what are we talking about? It's crazy. Just a couple girls chatting.

...

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