Thou Shalt Not Inject Bleach

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 May 2020

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheGodPodShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/ Join our Discord server for FREE and hang out with fellow fans of the God Pod:: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC Get the God Pod ad-free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Find the God pod wherever you get podcasts. thegodpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thou shalt not inject bleach
0:02.0	thou shalt not inject disinfectant of any kind
0:06.0	thou shalt not shine light bulbs up your butt.
0:10.0	Holy shit!
0:12.0	I should not have to say these things.
0:15.0	Welcome back to the God Show everybody. I'm your host, the Lord Thy God, and I'm here with my co-host and son Jesus Christ. Are you happy that I remember to say that you're my son?
0:28.8	I love the reminders. Positive reinforcement.
0:32.1	You did that last week, so I remembered.
0:36.0	Yes, thank you. You're learning.
0:38.0	Yeah, how are you feeling Jesus?
0:39.0	I'm better, as everybody remembers last week.
0:42.0	I reported that I hurt my back.
0:44.1	I threw my back out.
0:45.4	But I'm better now.
0:46.7	I've been going to the chiropractor and getting a little help.
0:50.4	Got a good doctor up here in heaven. And they've been very helpful, so I appreciate that.
0:55.6	How many times have you been to the chiropractor, Jesus?
0:58.4	I've been about three times so far, but they're scheduling me for many what's so funny well I don't know I've I've
1:06.7	spent some time in the chiropractor's facilities as well Jesus and yeah if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that they keep you coming back.
1:17.0	Yeah, I can tell, they've already scheduled me for like the next three months.
1:20.0	And I'm like, do I really need all this?
1:25.0	Do I have to go multiple times a week? I mean, they do good work, you know?
	...

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