The following podcast is a deer media production.

There's a hoe in this house and her name is Jackie Shimmel and she's 30 fucking years old.

Sorry for the delay this week. Honestly, I was just lapping it up. I was celebrating myself.

Okay, I was basking in all things Jackie Shimmel. I was observing a national holiday,

aka my birthday, aka the last birthday that I will ever fucking celebrate because I'm so sick of

myself, not really. But everyone's like, what's the difference over the other week you dumb bitch?

So, yes, I had a five-day, 30th birthday extravaganza by day two. I was ready to drown myself in a tub,

which I almost did because my friends made me do a nude photo shoot in a bathtub.

Hello everybody. I hope you guys can't hear in the background. It's 7am and my neighbor is doing

some woodwork in the driveway. Now, if you're new to this podcast, you will know the tumultuous

relationship that I have developed with my neighbor, Cheryl. One day she came over, her arm was

missing. We asked no follow-up questions. I then started talking about it on the podcast and maybe

serious exam a couple times. And now we are no longer speaking. I gave them a simple hi-hello

a courteous wave yesterday and was bringing in a bunch of flower deliveries, humble brag. So,

you know, normally like a normal neighbor would be like, oh, is it your birthday? Or, you know,

because I'm like bringing, I mean, it looked like someone fucking died outside my house. It's very

shivafab if you don't know what shivaf is. You're lucky for my hashtag, Blessed Gentile Listeners.

Shivaf is the period of morning after someone dies, perhaps my inner child, where loved ones

bring like food and then they help you grieve. It's like the week after somebody dies. Dark turn.

Typically, there's like a lot of deli platters and shitty cookies and low-budge floral arrangements.

You know, honestly, the best part of death are the floral arrangements and excess bagels.

Is that too dark? I think it's funny. It's fine. Anyways, so I see Cheryl and her woodworking

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