She's back for part two of this most amazing Identifying when someone is lying and how to spot and identify human body language My gal Vanessa van Edwards the charismatic human behavioral scientist herself is back to blow our minds once again She's been helping millions of us guys decode the social puzzle of what they say what they do What it means when they scratch their head when sneeze, when they look to the left or when they look to the right. She literally dies, it all like a fricking pro. And on this episode we go deep on how to unlock your hidden advantage with four things that will decode people's true intentions. We also talk about what you can do to read people's minds and unravel the truth in any freaking situation just by the tone of their voice. And if you want a dose of extra impact, go over to Apple subscription and actually check out women of extra impact that you can get right now. Guys, you get zero ads because time is breaking precious. You also get an exclusive curated playlist on essential topics like health, confidence, business, and relationships. You can choose which pillar you wanna go down and then you can dive deep and deeper into that topic. So go over and subscribe and get in your first week for free at apple.com slash women of impact. Once again, guys, if you wanna get that extra freaking dose of impact this fascinating. It was something like telemarketers. they had a photo of a successful athlete at the top of the script, they were better off in their job. And so now as we're talking about this and about getting anxious, would you advise to put a picture of somebody that you saw a dmire and stare at it before you go on a date? And if you don't actually mind breaking that down, you'll still be in everything. Yeah, I don't remember the exact numbers,

but it's exactly, exactly as described

as that they had telemarketers.

Some people looked at pictures of pretty meadows, and some people looked at pictures of an athlete winning a race. Specifically, it was an athlete in pride pose. So as humans across cultures, when we win a race, We want to take up as much face as possible.

We tilt our chin up, right?

We open up our jugular.

We usually open up our hands.

We usually gesture up towards the sky.

Are we kind of make a big... in a race, we want to take up as much face as possible. We tilt our chin up, right? We open up our jugular.

We usually open up our hands.

We usually gesture up towards the sky.

Or we kind of make a big gesture.

That's a universal gesture of pride.

Like when kids win a race, they jump up and down.

It's because we're saying,

I'm comfortable in my environment.

I want to be noticed.

It's like a universal expression of pride, what's interesting is they've said this in a lot of different ways in that yes, fear is contagious, but pride is contagious too. This is why charismatic people were so drawn to them, it's because we want to catch their charisma. We're attracted to that person across the room who's very charismatic, who's signaling all the cues that we like. So I outline the quiz, so openness,

fronting, leaning, nodding, mirroring, touch, there's all these cues that were like, mm, like we like it because we want to catch it. It's all like, we like that person. We want it for ourselves. So what they found is if they flash this picture or they have this picture of a pride athlete, it's sort of like triggered the winners response, the pride response in the telemarketers, which when we catch pride, it makes us better.

Like a micro win, a small win, it triggers a chemical response in our body, not to get over complicated, but it gives us testosterone, which even if we're a woman that makes us run faster, it makes us think faster because our endurance. And so if we win or we see someone win, we feel like a winner, which makes us think more like a winner. As like it creates this, like it worked to a cycle. And then you have one good call as a telemarketer and you're like, I got this. So part of that combating social anxiety, the way that I try to combat it and I teach you is using micro wins. Very small wins that can build up to, oh, I'm breaking out of this anxiety pattern. They're thinking about a role model as good way to do it. So one, you can have, sure, pictures of it people in pride. But more so, I'd rather you have a success file, which is like things that you have done in the past that make you feel really good, that could be a great email or a picture of you or a great friendship. Like I call it a success file. Like it's things that like really made you feel successful. So you're using your own past success to trigger your current success. Second, you absolutely can use a role model. Like one way, another way they've studied this is they asked students who were giving presentations to present like Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs is sort of known as being a very good presenter. And what they found is the moment they told students to pretend to be Steve Jobs or envision Steve Jobs, it changed everything about their cues. They used better hand gestures. They spoke for longer, their presentations were on average longer and they felt better on stage. So you can also kind of channel Beyonce, channel Beyonce, channel Steve Jobs, channel whoever it is you think. And this like that's why I watch a lot of TED talks is I like I feel very inspired by whoever is invited to be on a TED stage as an expert in their field. And so like I feel that that's a great way. So watch TED Talks, watch inspiring speakers, listen to podcasts or shows like this that are very inspiring that make you feel like, yeah, I got this. Like I think that you and I are in our comfort zone right now. Like I love talking about this stuff. That's contagious. There's a reason why we like listening to podcasts is because we're like, ooh, this person's talking about their juice, their good stuff, we want to feel that way too.

So we can put all those things around us to help. The reason why we like listening to podcasts is because we're like, oh, this person's talking about their juice, their good stuff.

We want to feel that way too.

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