What up, homies? This is Lisa Bellu and you are listening to Women in Impact. Now, danger doesn't always walk in with a weapon, right? Sometimes, actually walks in with a smile or a charm and offering you everything that you've ever wanted. And by the time you realise something's actually just a little off, you've already questioned your own damn reality. That's why today's episode is not light, it's not fluffy, it's fricking hard hitting, and honest, but it's just a viable kit to protect you from any nefarious person that comes into your life. Now I pulled the most shocking, the most eye-opening, the most straight-up terrifying insights from FBI profilers, psychologists and criminal experts, the people who studied predispositions for a living. Now these guests are breaking down the patterns, the manipulation and the tactics.

The stuff most women never actually get taught until it's too late. I wish I've freaking knew this in school. I wish there was a class on this very specific thing, but because there isn't, that's why I'm here, and that's why you're listening to Women of Impact. Now today, hold on to your hats, guys, because you're going to learn why Tugat to be group is one of the biggest freaking red flags on the planet.

And we learn how better does weaponized charm to help you freaking fast. We also talk about the subtle behaviour psychopaths actually can't fake, which include the creepy tell that actually shows up when they think no one is watching. I'm telling you if you actually look out for this it's a dead freaking giveaway. And then we talk about the one incident your brain gives you 200 million times faster than your conscious thoughts and why actually trusting this could save your life. Now this episode is your toolkit to finally stop doubting yourself, start spotting the signs and finally understand why your gut has been screaming at you to pay attention. So I hope you like this guys,

I actually pulled this together myself, I rewatched old episodes and I pulled the most fascinating things that really just shines a light on how nefarious people can be and how to make sure that you never get trapped. So let's get into it right here on Women of Impact. Criminal profiler and coercive control expert Laura Richards.

There was a case of a woman called Vicki Silias who sadly plummeted from a plane. She had a parachute on. She was a parachute instructor. She had just had her second baby and her husband encouraged her to do another jump and her husband, for all intents purposes,

he looked like he ticked every box

of being a pillar of the community

when you see him in military dress and so on.

Well, he encourages her to take this jump,

which he does, but the parachute doesn't open

and orders her reserve.

It had been sabotaged and she plummets 4,000 feet.

And Lisa, whoever was looking out for her that day,

it's incredible because she survived. What? She survived. 4000 foot drop. How do you survive that? I mean, they all felt they were going to find her and need a body bag, right? But she was still alive and they rushed her to hospital and she survived. And when the chief instructor at Netherave and Airfield examined the parachute, right, this is one in a billion, billion of two shoots not opening one. You can understand but you'll reserve. So he took the whole shoot apart and saw it being sabotaged, caused the police, the police suspect the husband and mere silliers who had encouraged her to do this jump. And they start to investigate him, but Victoria is having none of it. And what they find is when they look at his phones, he's been not just dating many other women, but seeing sex workers. He's so preoccupation is with sex. Not work, but sex. And he's not just cheated, he's run up financial debt. He's done so many terrible things and they believe that he is responsible and they find out from one of her friends who was a doctor who called them, who said their relationship is really problematic. I'm really worried. She's my best friend. I shouldn't be telling you this but I'm so worried. I'm going to tell you what's going on in this relationship, which she does. And she said, if Vermil-Silias was anywhere near that parachute before Victoria jumped, you have to look at him. And that's what they did. And they found out they had taken the parachute into the toilet with their toddler and was in there for five minutes before her jump. So when they speak to Victoria, she just couldn't believe it. But she said, well, I suppose I should probably tell you about the gas leak and the officer said, what gas leak? So she then says, oh, a week ago, the gas valve under the sink had been opened. And I text a meal, I said, did you touch the gas valve under the sink? He said, did you turn, can you turn the stove on? Test it by turning the stove on. She didn't do that, thank goodness. But that was the second follow-up and that's when they decide when she tells them that, they're going to go and arrest him. And when they tell her they're going to arrest him, her world fell apart. She couldn't handle it. And she protested on his side. He defended him, such was the coercive control and the manipulation. But Amil Silias, whenever he met women, he was the best at everything. And if you start to look at their history, you see that actually their experience, their qualifications, it doesn't match to the talk. but there's that kernel of truth, i.e. he was in the British army. He was a sergeant, and there he is in his military dress with his shiny shoes, and you would never suspect that he was a psychopath. But it took a female detective who's instinct about him. For six hours he talked at her with misogyny and the way he talked about women and about Victoria. He was going to leave her. He doubted, baby, number two was even his. He questioned the paternity and this female detective's listening to him and is just thinking, this guy, we've really got to look at him. You know what's fascinating? I mean, thank you for sharing that. That's utterly hot breaking. One thing you actually said is it took a woman police officer

to trust her, and recognize it. But what sad is the wife didn't trust her, the fact that he turned on the gas, and was like, oh, just switch on to see if it works. That wasn't enough of a sign for her. Well, you see, I think it was. And Victoria have always been very interested in, because when it went to trial, she sabotaged the trial.

She said that she was the one who sabotaged her own parachute. So, the question is, why would someone... Why would she do that, right? When there were two attempts on her life. So, I was always very interested, and I always am in victimology. And what it really talked to with Victoria is that the betrayal trauma was so great. She just could not accept that this man who she had this fairytale wedding with and she'd been married before, she wanted this happy ending. The betrayal trauma was so catastrophic. She couldn't deal with it. But she knew, she knew deep down because otherwise why would she say to the police, oh I suppose I should tell you about the gas valve. She offered that. Right, so you look for the clues in amongst things where when someone's been gaslit by an expert manipulator, they don't know which way is up, but they're gut. They normally have a sense deep down. So when they say something like that and then they're angry with the police for pursuing it, they're telling you, really, yes, they've been gaslit, they've been manipulated, but they cannot deal with that betrayal trauma. And often with victims, particularly of psychopaths and coercive controllers, they may well defend that person. And again, the reason being is because the love, the attachment, the emotional attachment and investment is so great and they want the person to go back to who they were when they first met them and they will say I just want him to go back to who he was when I first met him Laura and I'll say, well tell me about that and they say those first six months Laura they were incredible and then they start to describe the two good to be true, the perfect and they may have been with him. I had one lady who was with this guy for 10 years and for the first six months he was that, but for the rest of the time he abused her in every way. And she really thought that that first six months that was him versus the nine years of his behavior. Because there are good times too as well, peppered in that nine years, and the And the offender were leveraged those things. So going back to Victoria Sillia, she still even saw him after the first trial failed, because they did go to a second trial. She even went to go and see him, and he started doing the headwork again, trying to manipulate, trying to get back in. And she was the one that really swayed the jury, because's also an incredible woman. I mean, she's very smart, very well put together. Smart, eloquent. You know, we're not talking about women who are naive or silly. We're talking about women who've got their shit together quite frankly, but they believe in the power of love. They believe in what they're being sold and they don't believe someone could be so diabolical,. And unfortunately with my word I know they can be so diabolical but they can mask it very well too. Well so is he, would you diagnose him as a psychopath? Absolutely. Quick pause my homey but don't go anywhere because coming up, ex-FBI agent Scott is revealing the one reaction Cypacapas cannot fake even when when they think that they're blending in. If you want to spot danger before a hit, you need to hear this. Alright guys, we're back. Let's get right into it. Buddy language analyst, Scott Raus. So Cypac, what they'll do is they'll study people's behavior as they grow older and here's what happens They realize that going through school and hanging out with people that something's different about them They'll go something's not right here. I don't know what's right and it'll happen something like this This is a sort of a takeoff on Dr. Robert Hare's Story about this for example if you lived in Nashville You live downtown, because that's where the action is. And you, as a psychopath, you decide once Saturday night, I'm gonna have sweetened sour chicken for supper in this one later. So you'll go outside and you'll walk down the street and you'll see some lights down there. You see like an ambulance and some police cars. And the closer you get, you see the cops stand around and there's a woman there on the ground. There's Neil and Chrono and his little child who's been run over the child's in life anymore. And you look at that and you think, some importance happening here. You know, you look at it for a minute and I'm gonna get, it's gonna be sweet and sour chicken. That's what I'm going to get for Chinese, sweet and sour chicken.

I'm going to get two egg rolls and you'll go get that and you'll come back home and you'll pass that again. You'll eat your Chinese food. When you'll be thinking, what was that lady doing? I've seen that a thousand times. That look on her face. I don't do that. And you go in the bathroom and start rehearsing what that looks like when you cry.

And they start copying and learning from other people, how to behave like other people. And they will do things in front of you once they learn how to do these things to make give you the impression you've seen them cry about this. And when they can cross your mind, something might be wrong with me. That might be a psychopath. So you'll see things like that. They learn from other people. That's why people say, well, they can be real bit rehabilitated. They stop doing that because they were teaching them how to be normal. And they go out in the wild and start doing crazy stuff again. So you really have to, when you're dealing with someone you think might be a psychopath, watch him. When a firecracker goes off or the light bursts or somebody drops up them, do they go like this? Will they go like this? I think that's a lot. Oh really? Yeah. So you can't scare a psychopath like if I jumped out and... Whoa. No. So, okay, take away. This is so powerful. I didn't know this. Watch them when they don't realize

that you're watching them.

Because that's where you start to see the... That's where you see those little things. They'll pop right out to you, go, that's odd. And as they trek, there's a thing people talk about all the time, the psychopathic stairs of this. If you and I were in a bar and you're across the way and then you look over at me and I'm looking at you like this,

it would be odd for me to keep looking at you.

If I didn't look away. And then you look over at me and I'm looking at you like this,

...