They Shot Orlando Bloom's Exwife Into Space w/ Jake Young

Page 7

The Last Podcast Network

Tv & Film, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2025

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Everyone's favorite Not Like The Other Nerds-Nerd, Jake Young, is back again to delve into the HAWT GOSS' of the sunsetting of global capitalism a la very tacky, very out of touch Bezos Billionaire wedding. Clip art butterflies included. WW3 might be around the corner, but SHUT UP IT'S FASHION TIME! Guests at the wedding once more reminding everyone that 'Money Can't Buy Ya' ClAsSsSSsSSSS (elegance is earned)' The invitations? Tacky. The outfits? Tacky. The guest list? Tacky. But Orlando Bloom was there provin' he don't walk the talk (but he was takin' walks with Sydney Sweeney between her dancin' with Tom Brady!!), and Katy Perry wasn't, AND THEY'VE OFFICIALLY SPLIT! Which has Jackie and MJ feelin' a bit bad as her life unfolds around her. HOPE YA DID YA HOMEWORK! We're talkin' 'bout them red baggers on Trainwreck: Poop Cruise. Then it's time for everyone to be let down and reminded what reality tv REALLY IS, as the newest Golden Bachelor proves it might not be 'all men', but FUCK the ones that are! Then we've got 'Celebrity Controversies That Vanished From Public Memory, But These Fans Are STILL WEIRDLY FIXATED ON THEM!', Blindz, Jackie's Snackies Starts at 1:13:38.721 and ends at 1:25:52.811!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast

Transcript

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0:00.0	Oh, we got a little summer ditty going out to Jake Young.
0:13.9	Don't you put summer ditty on me?
0:16.5	I know, no, not that kind of ditty.
0:19.0	T.I.
0:20.4	No, it's a ditty. It's a different kind of ditty. T.T-T-Y. No, it's a t-ddy, it's a different kind of d-T-Y.
0:23.1	It's tainted.
0:24.0	The ditty is tainted.
0:24.9	Oh, no, there's no baby oil.
0:27.2	No, there's not a second, not a slip of baby oil.
0:31.0	No, I was going to steal your sunshine, Jake.
0:35.2	I know.
0:37.0	It's up for me.
0:39.3	If you're still as a child, making sure I'm not in too deep.
0:46.0	If you're still a lot, keep investing on that me.
0:52.0	Yeah, you see my life.
1:02.5	Sunshine. Sunshine. Mm-hmm. Don't stop her. Don't stop her. Don't stop her. Let's see how far she goes.
1:07.4	No, did you like it? It wasn't a diddy. It was a different ditty.
1:11.0	Okay. Yes. No, that was a good ditty. Is that Lent?
1:12.2	When is a ditty, not a ditty?
1:13.8	What is a jar, Jake?
1:15.0	Welcome to the show.
1:19.8	Oh, I'm just so upset that you thought she was talking about that ditty.
	...

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