Therapy Thursdays | Is This Relationship Fixable?

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, John answers listener questions about attachment wounds, commitment issues, trauma bonds, intrusive thoughts, divorce, and the painful question so many people wrestle with: is this relationship worth fighting for, or is it time to let go? He explores what actually kills relationships, why healthy love can sometimes feel unfamiliar, how to begin healing avoidant patterns, and what it means to choose yourself when your whole life is about to change. This is an honest conversation about love, fear, grief, boundaries, and the courage it takes to face hard truths. If you are stuck between holding on and walking away, this episode is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What I've dedicated my life to is revenge.
0:04.0	A brand new drama based on the best-selling novel.
0:07.0	They think they're better than us.
0:08.0	Who do you think you are?
0:10.0	I'm going to prove to them that they're wrong.
0:12.0	She's punishing me.
0:13.0	You destroyed my family.
0:14.0	I will not rest until I've destroyed yours.
0:17.0	A Woman of Substance on Channel 4 starts tonight at 9.
0:20.0	Things you would never bring up in therapy, you could bring up here.
0:39.4	The very first step in healing my avoidant behavior in relationships?
0:47.0	The very first step in healing any attachment wound is going to be awareness.
0:50.0	Awareness is actually the first step of healing anything. Being aware of what is activated in you in any relationship, and I just want to say that it can be any relationship
0:58.0	You know one of the misconceptions about attachment style healing is that you have to be dating someone or you have to be in a relationship to actually
1:05.0	Get data to notice the reactions
1:10.0	The activation the triggering that happens internally. And it's not true.
1:15.0	You can start to investigate your attachment wounds in friendships with family, right? It's any
1:21.6	relationship. But here's where it gets kind of complicated. You may be anxiously attached in romantic relationships,
1:29.4	but when it comes to friendships, you may be avoidance, right? Or vice versa. So depending on the
1:35.0	relationship, it may be different. Just because you generally are anxiously attached in an intimate relationship doesn't mean that
1:47.3	that is your attachment cell across the board.
1:50.0	It depends on the relationship with that person.
	...

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