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Well, every now and then, my dear wife will remind me, it's not what you said, it's the tone.

For a guy who spends a lot of time talking on mics, you'd think I could get this tone thing down with her, but I don't.

And so I need the tips we have today for communicating better in marriage.

I'm John Fuller, along with Greg Smalley and his wife, Aaron, who lead the focus marriage team.

And Greg, so much of our communication is not the words, but the other stuff.

It really is.

In research has shown this to be so true.

One of the classic studies, they found that only

7% of communication is conveyed through words. The 38% through tone, like you were talking about,

but actually the bigger issue is 55% of that message is being conveyed is through body language. So I mean, just think

about that. When Aaron and I are in a conversation, only 7% of the words that I'm using is conveying

the message. The rest is toned in body language. So if all we're curious about or interested in are the words and let's get the words

right, you're not even going to be an effective communicator because so much like Dina was saying

to you involves tone and body language. Well, I think sometimes at the end of the day I get short

and I just want to solve the problem. Oh, we know what that's like.

So you have a dear listener, you have the benefit of over 70 years of marriage between

...