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Judge John Hodgman

The Waiting Game

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2014

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mollie says that her husband Geoff spends way too much time on his turns during board games, plotting the perfect move to crush his opponents. Should Geoff hurry up?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, the waiting

0:07.0

game. Molly Files suit against her husband, Jeff. She says Jeff can be overly competitive

0:12.7

when he's playing board games, and he takes his sweet time plotting the perfect move to

0:17.0

crush his opponents. She wants Jeff to get a move on. Jeff says playing the game means

0:22.2

doing it right and taking the time to do so. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can

0:27.6

decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom. How long is a reasonable

0:35.1

time to play a hand of Scrabble? Casual game between friends should have no limit because

0:41.4

come on. It's not that big a deal. Read a magazine or something. If it's sincerely a problem

0:47.8

you can decide on the rules beforehand, you can also for that matter hack into Scrabble

0:51.9

a variety of ways, permitting proper names as long as they are rock fans, allowing people

0:56.4

to look up two letter words, not forcing challenged words to lose a turn. You can customize

1:00.8

Scrabble however you like because it's just a dumb game meant to make our alcoholism seem

1:06.6

fun and smart and to distract us from the idea that we are slowly dying. Bale of Jesse

1:12.2

Thorn, swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth,

1:18.5

the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever? I do. Sounds good

1:23.3

to me. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that it

1:28.0

takes him frankly no time at all to think of the perfect move in almost every game? That

1:33.6

makes it even better. I do. Diddo. Very well, Judge Hodgman. First of all, I do not

1:39.2

like this at all. Jeff sounds good to me. Diddo. But where do you think we are on the

1:46.5

quad? You think we're hanging out? You think we're having we're having class outside on

1:50.8

the quad today? This is a courtroom. I wish we were. It's been, you know, it's time to

1:56.5

break us through here. You're too, too, too informal, Jeff. I don't know what kind of game

...

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