These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine begins.

Right now. I am your lovable, hugable, radio chat host, Eric Von Hesler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares, man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews, lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher, the woman behind the glass,

Colby Richardson, and the handsomest producer in all producer, Jared Yamamoto. Doesn't today

feel like it's flying by or?

I don't know. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't say flying by or? I don't know.

I wouldn't say flying by, but I feel as if we're moving micro seconds quicker than usual.

I don't know.

We really are.

If you walk down the street today, that's street signs.

Something seems a little off.

Something seems a little off. This is the shortest day of the year? It's the third shortest day of the year. How is that news? All right. Okay. How is that news? Hey, it's the 17th shortest day of the year. Newsflash. Why is today the third shortest day? The 21st of December is the show day. This is not seasonal. It's not seasonal. This is about the, we talked about this a couple months ago. The, what the Earth is is, is by microseconds, it's getting faster. It's spinning faster and faster. And today they're expecting it to spin by about 1.25 to 1.51 milliseconds faster than usual.

So that's that's what you're feeling. If you've been wondering all day long,

what's different? That's why we've had all these earthquakes. They had one in New York today.

That's right. We're spinning too quickly. And I blame climate change, even though I have no idea how

one would lead to the other.

I think you get too much carbon and the earth gets frightened and tries to speed up and get away from the carbon.

And that's when we end up going spinning too fast.

That may not be, listen, I don't want to be people accusing me of coming on having like disinformation or misinformation. So you might want to check that one out.

But I have a feeling that so you get so much carbon in the atmosphere and the Earth gets afraid

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