These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable,

radio chat host, Eric Von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinairs.

Man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews.

Lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher, the woman behind the glass,

Colby Richardson, and of course, the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

Happy to have you back, my friend.

Well, I'm happy to be back, and so let's just start right there because I think people do deserve an explanation.

Obviously, as per my contract, I had the right to take that time off.

But the timing, I think, deserves a little explanation.

I missed the Carathon, which I'm not happy about at all.

And I will make it up to them, obviously.

But I'm not going to get into the details for several very good reasons.

But I do think the audience needs to know that I wouldn't just do that willy-nilly.

So what I will say is that sometimes life kicks you right in the solar plexus. And you need to step back, catch a breath before proceeding because otherwise you're just going to collapse to the ground.

And that's what I did.

And I want people to know that it's not a health thing.

I want people to know that my family, my immediate family

are okay. But it was a heavy duty thing in my life. And I just sometimes, I'm sure people

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