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Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and and beyond, hour one of the Von Hesler Doctrine

begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable, radio chat host, Eric von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares, man of a thousand voices,

Tim Andrews, lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher,

the man behind the glass, George Clark, and the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

We are now less than four hours away, Eric, from the congressional baseball game.

I know the countdown clocks are going everywhere.

Oh, yes, everybody's excited.

I think you're the only person alive that knows that that doesn't live in D.C.

This is a big deal, guys. Go GOP.

Democrats versus the GOP.

Oh, who cares.

AOC starting pitching.

Gutterball.

That's okay.

She has a good knuckler.

I, yeah, I absolutely don't care about what politicians do, especially when they're not ruining

my life.

...