The Toot Dispute

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 25 May 2011

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jason's mom argues that whenever he passes gas, he should proffer an "excuse me" to whomever is present (according to general social etiquette). Jason says he's an adult and as such, is allowed to do as he pleases. Should Jason's mom butt out, or should be held to her standards?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week on the show,
0:06.9	the Toot dispute. Jason is the complainant. His mother insists that when he passes gas,
0:12.7	he must always say, excuse me. Jason says he'll say what he wants. He's 30 years old, a grown man.
0:21.3	His mother disagrees. She says it's a matter of simple social graces.
0:26.0	Who's right and who's wrong in this generational battle? Only Judge John Hodgman can decide.
0:33.2	Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.
0:36.8	Fart sound. I'm here to judge you. Comedy Fart sound. I can't wait to hear this week's sound of
0:42.8	a gattle, by the way. Bayl, Jason, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the
0:51.2	truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do.
0:56.0	Yes, I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that as a judge,
1:02.6	he's legally prohibited from farting? Yes. Very well. Judge Hodgman. Okay. Which one of you is the
1:09.6	Fartor? That'll be me. And you are the complainant as well as the Fartor? Yes. All right. Why don't you
1:16.0	state your case? What is your what is your name besides Fartor? My name is Jason. This generally
1:20.4	accepted name. Jason generally accepted name. All right. Very well. I've entered in the record.
1:24.6	Explain to me, if possible, without farting, what is going on in your relationship with your mother?
1:30.4	Sure. I can manage that. Whenever we're home, you know, and I fart, she always makes a point of saying,
1:36.3	telling me to say, excuse me, follow up with the comments of things like, you know, this isn't
1:40.5	how I raised you and things like that. Which I don't necessarily have a problem with
1:44.4	thing, excuse me, but it's sort of like, I've drawn the line in the sand and I'm not going to say
1:48.4	excuse me because I don't really feel it's about whether or not I say excuse me. I feel like it's
1:53.4	about the fact that she has three grandchildren, but she wants more. And so she wants me to be married.
2:01.5	And here's just I have a decade of evidence just with all the things that she's done sort of like
	...

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