The Friendship Inquest

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2011

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Friends Adam and Will have a dispute about social networking. Is it Adam's responsibility as a young adult to get with the program and join the online social networking world, or is Will pushing his own life choices on his friend?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorne. This week, the friendship
0:07.8	in quest will is our complainant. He writes to say that his best friend Adam refuses to join
0:17.3	Facebook or any equivalent social networking website. Is it Adam's social responsibility to
0:26.0	socially network? Or is Will a madman trying to force Adam into social contacts that he doesn't
0:34.6	desire? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.
0:40.7	You may have 6,000 friends on Facebook silently judging you, but only I will judge you to your
0:48.8	face and I will never friend you on Facebook. You may be seated. Well, Adam, raise your right
0:55.0	hands. Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you
0:58.8	God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the
1:06.2	fact that he does most of his social networking inside of the exclusive Yale Club in New York City?
1:13.8	I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. Okay, so who is the complainant here? Who's Mr.
1:19.3	Internet? I am. And your name is Will. And your Will Price? Correct. Are you Will Price of
1:26.0	Widget Box or Will Price of the Culinary Institute of America or Will Price of Princeton, New Jersey or
1:31.4	Will Price of the New York City Department of Education? I am none of those. Well, I'm looking on
1:37.2	Facebook right now. I am trying to friend you. Do you have a a pseudonym on Facebook? No. Stop
1:44.3	being coy with me. You friend me now. All right, I'll wait until you do it.
1:54.1	H-O-D-G-M-A-N. No-E and Hodgman. Did you find me? Yes, adding as friend. Well, requesting. We'll see,
2:05.7	we'll see what happens. We'll see how this goes. All right, well, so what's the problem? Well,
2:10.6	the problem is that Adam refuses to participate in any form of social media. Right. And specifically,
2:19.2	I would like to get him on Facebook. Are you doing some buzz marketing for Facebook right now?
2:24.4	I am not. Do you promise me you're not getting an affiliate fee or anything by infecting my podcast
2:31.5	in my courtroom with your Facebook pop-up ads? Yes, I promise. All right, so what are your personal and
	...

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