Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bayliffe Jesse Thorn. This week the case

of the girlfriend and the grasshopper. Jeff brings the case. He says his girlfriend

Courtney habitually hides food and particularly treats. When challenged, she's prone to lying

openly about the matter. Courtney says she does not continue to hide food and she only

has done it in the past because they were foods that her boyfriend Jeff has repeatedly

claimed he doesn't enjoy but nonetheless eats. Who is in the right and who is in the wrong

only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the court.

Whoa. Be unto you sinners. You food hoarders. You food stealers for today is your judgment

day. You may be seated. Please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help you God or whatever. Absolutely. Do

you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that his judgment

is clouded by the long list of treats in the case summaries that you've provided. Very

well Judge Hodgman. So who is the complainant? That would be me. What is your name, sir? My

name is Jeff. Jeff. Food stealer. Okay. Go on. Okay. That's one perspective. It's just

what it says. That's just what it says here. Jeff, I don't know. I just get these things

handed to me. Well, to start from the beginning about a year ago, I remember on a certain

day, much like today, I came home from work early or something. I'm not sure exactly what

it was. And I found Courtney and she was in bed and she was surrounded by Reese's peanut

buttercup wrappers. Sounds very romantic. Yes. Well, I mean, it would have been had there

been any remaining peanut butter cups, but they were all completely gone. And so I saw

this and I realized that she's had these over the course of several days and she has

not shared them with me. And since then, I have found her also finding, hiding girl scout

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